My training log and thoughts

 29.09.2021 Well, today I wanted to go on a little tanget, talking about some obscure things and myself, and my psychology and philisophy, but I feel like, thankfully, the desire to do so might just be past. I'd be talking about stuff I talked about many times before in this blog. Not very curious. Rather talk about my day, also in moderately obscure terms. You can understand them if you try. Woke up early enough. Did some repeatable quests. Breatfast - sugarless oats (I didn't know they were sugarless) and some quickly cooked thin slices of pork. Had some coffee. Decided to give robusta a shot today as well - it was nice. I should have made one cup (30-40 beans) rather than a handful (60-90 beans). Then I had some rather diluted but still tasty arabica. I had way too much - not because I was getting jumbled from caffeine, but because I had like 1.5 liters overall and didn't pee. Caffeine didn't jumble me too much today. Then something else happened - a curious cutscene...

 27.09.2021 Nice day. CNS kind of still not fully recovered. Did some repeatable quests, had pasta and small pork chops for breakfast, some time later I had two handfuls of coffee beans over two batches, over an overly long period of time. Played the classical guitar a tiny bit. Squat - sets of 10 20 - 50 - 100 - 120  Started getting bummed out before the last set (CNS was getting fatigued quickly), tweaked my left hamstring a tiny bit, dropped one side of the bar as I was racking it, pinched my ring finger a tiny bit. It shouldn't be called a ring finger, in my humble opinion. Cause rings are just bad for you. You'll tear off your skin and flesh when you have to grip soemthing hard with a ring on your finger. Not even kidding. Wearing all the small things makes me feel really anxious and uncomfortable. I only wear a cross, and I use a braided sewing thread for it. I used to feel very uncomfortable when I tried wearing a watch back in the day. Same feeling I get when I try to ...

 25.09.2021 Nice day. Woke up. A little less sleep than usual - stayed up yesterday. Did some repeatable quests. Went back to sleep after some time. Disturbed by scam calls. Unusual dreams. Woke up again. Had two handfuls of coffee over almost two hours. Nice, but I didn't get pre-amped. Felt a little lazy until I realised I do. Then i got to warmup. Deadlift Warmup 50-70-150 190 for 3 - overhand grip - I think it's an actual all-time PR :D On this bar, anyway. 230 - 4 sets of 3 - nice! Medium-heavy-medium load, he he. I love that I managed 4 sets so easily. I've been eating some leftover creatine in the last few days. Maybe that helped. Drummed for 3 sets in between DLs - feels good. Not too bad. Learning to use my foot on hihats. And playing some double bass pedal as well. 16th notes at around 90 bpm. I should try to learn more raised foot technique. Overhead press - 20 kg bar for 20 reps Overhead press, 17 kg dumbbells (with a new olympic-sized dumbell) 3 sets of 20 reps...

 Ƕ 23.09.2021 Nice day. Energy = roughly 59/100. CNS a bit stressed, a little too sensitive. Managed to calm it down. Very light breakfast - oats and a small piece of flesh. Then some sugary carbs and tea. I get thirsty at night. But it's better to be thirsty than have to visit the toilet a thousand times. I think I might have visited the toiled more than 30 times one day not too long ago. Was thirsty. Some guitar plays, discovering new things on the fretboard - mostly exploring the first three strings. I could write a blues song, you know. I think I've improved my fingerstyle playing. Thinking of buying a thumb pick. Thinking of buying a cool guitar. There's a cheap but nice looking Martinez on the market. Should I buy it? Well, considering I just finally splurged on something I wanted to buy for my summer I think I shouldn't buy anything for a while. I'd have to spend over 30% of my immediate budget on it. Had 80 beans. Then I had a handful more. CNS not too amped...

 22.09.2021 Well, I'm feeling just dandy. My sleeping was almost normal. My neck hurted a bit at night. I wonder why. Pillows might be too big. Woke up early enough, again. Did some nice side quests. Had an assortment of random snacks for breakfast, among them a tiny portion of yesterday's buckwheat with soy sauce - it was very tasy, actually. You know, I'm starting to feel like I do wanna travel. Spend dozens of hours just to get a momentary feeling. Actually, you can travel very far with trains. And you can travel to some undiscovered locations on foot as well. There's plenty of fun stuff around here. I loved exploring the neighborhood with my dog when i was just 7 years old. It was like a real life video game. Incredible, good times. Having some arabica - two handfuls, and now I'm having a rebrew. It hit just right. Almost 6 PM. It's pretty late. Plan for today - heavy presses (that I missed on saturday) and that's about it, nothing else that is heavy. Ac...

 20.09.2021 Nice day. Not much to say. Slept well. Rather moderate breakfast. Received my arabica coffee, as well as a couple of chocolates and a battery for the scales. Apparently I lost some, and now I'm 109 kgs in clothing. I think I was above 111 in late august. Not sure. Had some coffee. First I had 60 beans, like I wanted. Then I did some rather shameful rationalizing - since robusta has, like, twice the caffeine, and I was gonna have 60 beans of robusta that means I was privy to three times that, for some reason. So I had more. It felt like a tiny bit too much. Anyway, I didn't getr amped too hard, but I concluded that I was, indeed, amped. Amping = roughly 3/10. Squat Warmup Then sets of 10 20 - 50 - 70 - 100 - 120 - 140 Today I put a tiny bit more effort into squatting deeper. I thing I succeded. High bar squat - 50 for 10 - unusual, but not too bad. I felt like that have to have been enough. I didn't want to give in to endorphin temptation and do any more heavy li...

 18.09.2021 Nice day. Lowered energy, muscles sore, but I feel great. Woke up early from the eastern sun, as has been the norm for a very long time now. Can't wait for the darker days, ha ha. Traps and lower back are sore, lats and glutes a bit sore as well. At least I got some of my energy back. What was I missing? Still can't be sure. I think I pre-exhausted myself on wendesday. I was able to expend CNS energy en masse while "warming up" with coffee for very many hours before the session. That's what wednesday was, and I exhaused myself to a point of feeling ill. Today I did some proficient things, a modicum of unusual stuff entered my life, then I had 3 teaspoons of instand coffee over roughly 1,5 cups (around 600 mls). I questioned myself whether I should go heavy today - the program dictated 80% for 4 sets of 2. My CNS felt nice, not powerful but not falling over. I felt content and calm standing up. So I decided to go heavy. 80% of my supposed max is defini...

 17.09.2021 Been feeling quite unwell, but not sure if I'm ill. Most of the time, overall I feel okay. Slept for the whole day yesterday. From monday to wednesday didn't get more than 6 hours of sleep a day. Yesterday I just laid down and fell asleep for a long time. Then I woke up around 4 AM. Starting to feel bored. Had some rice and potatoes. The meat that I cooked on wednesday got left in the over, so now it looks all dried up and somewhat unedible (different from inedible, because a rock is inedible, but spoiled products are unedible. Yes, those are my personal language rules, I'm not imposing them, but I think they make sense). Made a decision to not have any coffee until monday. Failed a bit - instead of havving coffee from beans I had two tablespoobs of instant coffee. It seems to work. I miss my creative youtube days. If I'm gonna relight the spark I'm gonna need the conditions to be perfect. Ideally, I want to wake up not too early in a day after a decent ...

 15.09.2021 Nice enough day. Woke up at 7 after roughly 6 hours of sleep. Couldn't go back to sleep. Did some things, energy medium. Started having coffee. Amped up a bit. Jammed randomly. Mastered the last song - made a lot of mistakes, might have learned something. 7 PM - a lot of time passed. Feeling cranky. Decided not to DL again. My body feels like it's telling me that it doesn't want to do anything. Weird. But it's what I've been feeling since early august, since my lifestyle changed slightly. How did it change? Can't tell. But I had 3 good sessions since then. Some okay sessions. A lot of really mediocre ones. Mood and energy have mostly been in the dumpster. And I can't figure out what to do. Well, I have a couple guesses. I really should fix my sleep. Despite spending a lot of time in bed I can barely sleep. Might have something to do with caffeine. Too much caffeine. It's time to make an actual change and stop taking it at all. I wish to prese...

 11.09.2021 Nice day. Almost no sleep at night. Took a long time drinking coffee. Overhead press Warmup 100*4 108*4 120*1 bad 120*1 better Plan was 108 - 4 sets of 4, but I wanted to have more fun and prepare for heavier weights. Not sure if it worked correctly - I mean, it was easy enough for a weight above 90% of suuposed max, but I wanted to do more. Satisfied with my strength and shape, but not satisfied with my discipline. It fact, I'm really not satisfied with it. And that was about it. I think I did something for arms later. This video might be a little too funny. You can hear a track I jammed up before the session. Using the KVLT drums, not my own recording. Hopefully I'll be able to play rums soon enough. 13.09.2021 Okay day. 6/10, maybe even 65/100. Which kind of makes it a good day, just not good enough for me to call it good. Curious phenomenon. I am grateful for my existence, despite my wormhood. (Poor worms don't deserve to be denigrated like that, ha ha) Want...

 09.09.2021 Hmm. Okay. Nice enough day. Not much to say. You know how people have a "will"? Well, sometimes people want things that oppose each other. Then the will is split. Not a good feeling. You'll miss this feeling when you're numb, or tired, or distracted. But you just have to be frank and honest with yourself. Just admit to yourself that you're wrong and you're trying to delude yourself with complex mind machinations. And what to do after that? Well, you have to build something up from the ruins of your will. Something that can withstand all potential damage. And how do you go about that? Discipline. Consistency. Not slacking - when it really matters. And there's always something that really matters - don't allow yourself to miss it. Well, that's about it for my little mystical psychological tangent. Now on to my day. Not gonna lie, I've been slacking, not providing sufficient overlook to some of the members of The Order. Been slacking. ...

 08.09.2021 Okay day. Nice enough. A little nervous. Thankfully, not emotionally nervous. There's a difference. Coffee - quite some. Time = rather late (around 10 PM). Bench press 50 70 100 - 4  sets of 15 - rather hard. No accumulated energy. Pressing moves love it when you train them often. I didn't. Satisfied - today I accumulated. Played bass, and with bass - trying to figure out if it sounds good. Not really. I gotta get small hex wrenches to adjust the bridge. Rattling isn't as fun anymore. And comparing to Joey DeMaio tone - mine is plain. I know I can make it good though. First - I need to adjust the bridge. They only send you the big hex bar, not a small one. Disappointing. There's probably a set of these somewhere in the house. My chances of finding it are miniscule. Have to pay money. Been worrying about money. Not much of a "fowl of the air" or "lily of the field". Well, reflecting on it made me feel easier. Now I don't care again. Ju...

 06.09.2021 Slept through most of sunday. A little weird. And then I also fell asleep early. Woke up at 6AM today (monday). Did some things. Ate a moderate amount of food. But highly caloric, actually - courtesy of peanut butter. Fell asleep until 2PM. Woke up, did some important things. Started having coffee. A handful first. Played guitar a lot - my old "prayer_doom" (Prayer Of The Unavenged). Printing out tabs was a great idea. Most definitely! Got some more coffee. Decided to play my new cheap Les Paul. It was nice - fiddled with the tone, played with a pick, didn't even notice any wrist pain. Great stuff. Noticed that one of the stapholders got pulled out. I screwed it back in and decided to return it. A curious, albeit definitely impulsive decision. That's what you get for buying things on impulse. I'm glad I can return it. It has very weak pickups, wood seems to be brittle, some plastic covers came scratched and poorly cut out. I didn't play it much, s...

 04.09.2021 I got my groove back today. Let's start from the start. Fell asleep around 22:00 yesterday. Woke up around 2:30AM after that. Watched videos and shows. Did not play FO76. Had some rice and non-rotten chicken (I think). Gave a couple of lessons around midday. Had a handful of beans of coffee over less than three cups - very dense, but a small amount. Started falling asleep. Wanted to have a 20 minute nap, but changed my mind to a 2 hour long nap, then to a 4 hour long nap. Okay, good enough. Woke up around 19:00 or something. Didn't want to give up - even though I knew it was late. I didn't want to believe that it's going to affect my energy. Plus, I had some nice dreams. Can't remember them right now, but they were nice. Had a small amount of non-rotten chicken, and some rye bread with honey and peanut butter. Oh yeah, I had some goodies delivered to me today - a rather overpriced stopper for a second pedal on the double bass pedal, lifting chalk and 100...

 02.09.2021 You know, I've been rereading this blog from a year ago and I realised that I was training in a very laid back fashion in september 2020. I wasn't following a program - I was just doing whatever. I was still recovering my finger, of course. I was intentionally not going through a program. Perhaps I'll have to try and recover that mindset, cause clearly something within my body is just not ready for "hard" gym work (i.e. lifting in accordance to a program.) Perhaps today I should just pump my muscles as much as possible. And I guess I'll have to restart a program when I actually get into it - cause it's all been really bad. Having coffee - a handful of beans I portioned yesterday. It looks less than 100 beans, so let's go with that. Once again, I think I just have to recover my CNS or something. I completely forgot about the "tunnel" - where has it gone? Why don't I feel the "tunnel" anymore? Well, it's not comepl...

 01.09.2021 Nice enough day. At least 6/10. Less than average energy. Low appetite. Broken sleep schedule. I love the weather - it's finally chill. Feelin a bit paranoid writing about other people. Had rice and still not spoiled fish for "breakfast". Well, I had rice veyr early in the morning too. I always get stomachaches around 6 AM. I wonder if I get them in my sleep. Took omeprazole and ate rice. It turned out not completely boiled, a bit hard, slightly crunchy. I wonder if it's good for me this way. Played guitar a lot, just noodling mostly. Wrist is better than before, but still hurts. Had 100 beans of coffee. Then I portioned a handful of it into the baggy - a handfull looks smaller than 100 beans. Curious. Re-boiled it later. Added condensed milk so it tastes okay. Overall, I think, I consumed a rather low amount of caffeine today. Gotta keep it up for a while. Workout start: almost at 9 PM. Not good. Overhead press Warmup - rather long 70*5 90*5 100 for 5 - v...