My training log and thoughts

 05.08.2026 DL advice from July 31st: FORCE THE SPEED through your sticking point, move quickly past knees, do not slow down on the lockout!  *** So, it's the 5th today. The back tweak from the last workout only lasted for about a day, thanks to all the walking I've been doing. I was really nervous yesterday, a mess in my head. I have to go and try to solve "the issue" once again, and yesterday I was all jerking around and I finally prepared all the documents. I know exactly what the issue is - I'm afraid of failing. It's a thing on a visceral level, my body, not wrangled. Nerves burning down. I stay too nervous for too long and I can't do anything. BUT sometimes I can. Sometimes I can! And right now it's the evening time. I'm in between all sorts of strange moods. BUT I feel good. I feel alright, more or less. My head, it's been a mess, and it's still a mess. But I love how on rest days this training week I'd always go somewhere. Two r...

 03.08.2026 Had a difficult night - I was really sleepy but the humidity and the bugs were making it difficult. My CNS was strained and I could not relax. I was woken up in the morning and did some stuff and then fell back into sleep and woke up at 5 PM like it was one minute. And I'm currently a daytimer! Finished the stale breakfast from yesterday - it was nice, but hard to eat. Went for another walk, this time somewhere else. Again, a lot of foot issues on the way there and almost feeling normal on the way back! Crazy. I hope I can fix it. The new boots are nice, rubber sole. Size 45 but they fit me, no chafing. Kinda feels amazing. Feeling very tense when I meet anyone. Feeling like everyone I meet is a threat. I wish I didn't. I don't know why it's happening. Some subconscious stuff. Well, I felt more relaxed when I accomplished the goal of what I went there for - bought the medicines, then some random groceries because why not. And on the way back I finally starte...

 01.08.2026 Rest day. Went for a nice walk - the usual hill-crossing, bought new boots. My ankle bothered me on the way there but not on the way back, just like that one other time. The new boots are nice, they should match my outfit. Cheap too! I know, I know. The expensive ones I bought were an extreme impulsive purchase. The winter ones back in 2022, the ones that the medic accidentally tried to steal. They kept chafing me, so I wore my Russian size 46s. They look very comfortable but apparently I forgot that they are loose on the inside. They are, however, so much more comfortable to walk in compared to the winter ones! And the ones - well, I should stretch them out after a while, just like the shirt. I also wore that longsleeve - it was nice in this climate. 02.08.2026 Discovery of the century - my right wrist is smaller than my wrist. It is genuinely surprising. It's almost a centimeter smaller. And they're both about a centimeter smaller than they were ten years ago. Wha...