My training log and thoughts

 30.11.2022 Nice day. Nothing interesting. Okay sleep, decent nutrition. Brain feels okay. Had a portion of Egoiste coffee, it was alright but not great, that red bushido coffee and lavazza are better. Randomly decided to try old robusta I wrote about. Tasted very bad, but it's alright. Strange how it tastes differently sometimes. I'm supposed to do really heavy DLs today. Not sure if I want to. Feeling kinda lax. I think I might postpone em, genuinely. Today I shall, however, pile up some energy into my muscles, and work on my endurance. I thinking of running up and down the street. It should streamline everything. To do one kilometer it's only two times there and back again. Weird. I never thought my street was this long. I'm so low on energy today. I feel like it's in my CNS. Yesterday I've done some walking. Tested my walking speed as well. It's still exactly 6 km/h. Surprisingly exact. I think if I'm gonna run today I need to warm up outside first. ...

 28.11.2022 Last two days were high-energy. Yesterday too. Played FO4 a lot. Got seriously engrossed in building one of the settlements with a modded kit. There's a lot to figure out there. Woke up kinda late, worked, had a moderate breakfast, worked some more, feeling a little too lax for my own taste, started having coffee. Bought Egoiste Velvet pack arabica. It's nice, but not as subtle as I like. Feeling a little angry for memory reasons. Wanted to have a third coffee and feel right about it. Now I'm doing it. Mixed it from three brands I currently have. Jardin robusta surprised me last time. Bitter, dark, stale, but strangely enjoyable. Trimmed my mustache a bit. Ended up pretty small. Not too small, thankfully. I look a little more serious because of that now, especially after cleaning up the rest. Never had a mustache like that, so that's quite and experience. I really hope when they finally make FO5 it's gonna be a more hardcore in an intricate way, detailed...

 26.11.2022 Nice day. Not much. Slept for a while, worked, ate, slept some more, very vivid dreams. Had coffee. Since I ran out of good coffee, I decided to have some old robusta and then some cheap arabica. NGL robusta tasted better. Weird. I was hoping for some contrast so that the second one tasted better. What if robusta tastes better cause it got more caffeine? Hmm. Very late. Gotta do my OHPs today. Workout Short warmup, mostly upper body Overhead press 20 - 50 - 70 90 for 4 100 for 2 - last "warmup" set 110 fail - mentally distracted, wrong technique. I should have put on music 110 - 3 sets of 2 - very nice, RPE 7-8 110 - 2 sets of 1, attempted to do a double in each - first I did bad technique and put my hands and shoulders forward too much, then I waited for not too long and did another one way better, but failed the second reps cause my tricep isn't in perfect shape. 50 for around 20 - narrow grip a-la tricep, funny and uncomfortable, repositioning my wrists as ...

 24.11.2022 Nice day. Not much. Slept enough, ate little, work cancelled, had two moderate coffees (cheap), still got jumbled in my head. now having a little bit of tea to hydrate and then I'm off to do a tiny bit of working out and for a run on a different route. Been watching my fav russian FO76 youtuber play interactive FO4, I wrote about it before. I missed watching streams for a long time. I wish I could go sooner. Patience. It matters. Workout Lower body warmup Squat Unloaded yesterday's barbell 50 - 70 - 90 for 10 that feels about enough for today. I'm getting done what needs to be done. Legs are already warmed up a bit. Picked a different running route. I'll measure 1 km and then there'll be some more, roughly 400 meters. Eager to see some improvement. Rubber supported squats - 10/10/10 and some calf raises in between sets. Ran a kilometer in 8:25. Feeling like shit, for the lack of the better expression. Overall I'm only displeased a little bit, cause i...

 23.11.2022 Nice day. Been doing stuff. Did a lot. Was told to wait again. Bureaucracy. Oh well. At least I can prepare better. Slept very little - had to go early. Had a few snacks throughout the day. Came not too late, but ended up falling a-nap. Woke up late. Had 1.5 coffees so far (shared the first one). And it's 10 PM. I got roughly the same workout as last week planned. A little more intense, perhaps. Not sure if late at night is that great of an idea. 1.5 coffees means I'm not gonna go nuts. I'll be in control. That's good, right? Oh, I so wanna have more. Well, not neccessarily. I can foresee myself making a lot of calls... Coffee already cranking me up. A little. Workout Prolonged laid-back mostly lower body warmup Deadlift 20 - 50 - 100 for 8 140 and 190 for 4 220 for 4 pretty nice - it's the "warmup" set, the one that actually makes you generate strength. I realise now I was kinda lifting way too heavy last time. We're not gonna go very far ...

 21.11.2022 Nice day. Not much to do. Woke up after a moderate amount of sleep (played FO4 at night), ate a plenty, rested, worked while having my first coffee, now I'm having my second. The weather is beautiful. Reduced sunlight at pre-evening time of the day creates an unreal atmosphere throughout the house. Talking about all this, listening to Ahab, feeling inspired about my life and what I'm doing. Life is fully meaningful. But you don't really 'own' your life, do you? Life is a process. It's reasonable to risk disrupting this process for something meaningful. A materialist in me suggests that I've conditioned myself to feel rewarded for things that I deem meaningful. All my life, I have felt like I am not doing enough. And it's not just because most of society has been trying to gaslight me into this. They have not really been doing it. They were put under 'air pressure'. Air pressure isn't obvious, but it's severe. Mental changes. M...

 19.11.2022 Nice day. Didn't sleep too much - been enjoying Fallout 4, mostly Sim Settlements. After updating the main mod it's significantly less buggy! There are no more thirty minute saves. I've been enjoying being the general of the Minutemen, saving the settlements. Woke up, worked a tiny bit, have a really nice breakfast, then slept some more and had an amazing dream. Woke up, started having coffee - first batch tasted nice, second - I used cheap coffee, it's okay. Helped someone in a somewhat toxic manner, now I regret it. I should really be more considerate and responsible, even if it's a good way to teach someone a lesson that they truly need. Doing some OHPs today. And I think I will try to actually run a full kilometer, now that I discovered that I've been wearing my boots really wrong (really tight) - it'll feel different. I know for a fact my endurance has gotten better, and I must not miss out on it. I'll be doing roughly the same thing as ...

 17.11.2022 Nice day. The bureaucracy is showing it's ugly side, wasting my time unreasonably. But I managed to do a couple things I wouldn't have otherwise done. I've done something I had in my plans for over a year. That's a win. Learned a few things about life. Gonna do some squats. I can already feel the strength increase from getting into shape. My hip doesn't bother me almost at all anymore. Funny how I just forget about those small ailments. Had a nap late in the day, had a lesson cancelled. Workout Short specialized squat warmup - shoulders included Squat 20 for 10 50 for 10 70 for 10 nice. Not doing the lordosis thing with the back, doing the opposite and squatting down very deep. Never allow yourself to relax in the hole though, I don't believe it to be productive for most movements. 90 for 10 100 for 10 nice, hard for abs, all reps had nice velocity. Quickly unloaded the bar. Feels really good to able able to perform a decent looking squat at a good p...

 15.11.2022 Nice day. Feeling alright. Slept little, woke up went somewhere and back, happy that I managed to do it today, slept some more. Been enjoying spending time outside. Life is like a very interactive video game 😆 You can do anything. I'm planning to do the main quest soon. Woke up, worked, had one nice coffee, now I'm having a second one. The taste is super nice, it's Lavazza gold brand. But it's very strong. Alright. Having my third coffee - decided to make a half ot it with cheap, and half with the new one. Tastes nice. Listening to some old school death metal. Iniquity - Tranquil Seizure Yesterday I finished the Automatron DLC in my current survival playthrough of Fallout 4. I made it too easy for myself by wearing power armor and bringing Splattercannon :( Well, I enjoyed it in a good enough manner. The final fight was so much more underwhelming compared to the first time I did it. I forgot you can sneak up on her? Such a silly DLC. They should have made i...

 14.11.2022 Nice day. Slept very little. Slept a lot yesterday though. Yesterday was a very boring day. Did pretty much nothing until the evening. No desire to play video games. In the evening I ordered groceries, including a variety of sweets, such as soda. I've become strangely fond of soda. Might be all the subconscious imaging from Fallout games, ha ha. On saturday I got a pretty heavy headache and had some aspirin, which is something I almost never do anymore. I believe it hinders my anabolism. Walked a lot today. Wore relatively old socks - they were new not long ago. The hiking boots cracked. They're pretty comfortable. My feet tend to destroy footwear quickly. The boots will still serve for a while. Feet tired. Doing bureaucracy stuff. Been spending money indeliberately. Well, it's november. I am going through with this. And I am thinking a lot. Wish I could write more. Maybe I will. Not here, though. Yesterday I watch a silly crime comedy called Novocaine. It's...

 12.11.2022 Nice day. Didn't have much to do. Worked yesterday. Was bored. Managed to go to bed early. Woke up at 5AM and then went to bed later. Woke up after noon and had a moderate breakfast. Not sleepy. Started having coffee. I think I found a way to make moka coffee nicely - you must not let the water jerk out. Control the fire and the amount you put in. Now watching a Fallout youtuber streaming. He's one of us, so I donated him a lot of stuff to mess with him as well as help him in Fallout 4. Very funny. People keep spawning radroaches. It's magnificent. I missed watching streams like that. My social bar is filling up. Oxytocin. That way the game feels kinda like multiplayer. Some of my house came home. Now I want a third coffee. Well, they're smaller than normal. I don't use all the water now. Good. Workout Moderate all arouind warmup Overhead press 20 50 for 8 70 for 8 80 for 5 90 for 5 100 for 4 - nice, but it's heavier than I'd like it to be today....

 10.11.2022 Nice day. Slept very little. Nice day yesterday. Did some more adventuring in neccessary bureaucracy. Feeling good. Hung out with the ones of my house. Went back home, slept for a very short while, gave a lesson, made a coffee, sat downstairs in a lounge chair while having it, it wasn't too bad or good. Made another coffee, spilled all of it, made a third one - this time i decided to experiment and not let the water jerk out of the nozzle, so it's supposed to have a smoother taste. Let's give it a shot... Bitter. But... quaint. Almost, eh, almost nice. Double almost, he he. Adding sugar somehow removes so much bitterness. Interesting. Chemistry. All the walking makes me a different person. Lovely. It's very late. Yet I shall work out ever so slightly. Pushups, accessory work, making my blood flow, you know. Tommorow's not a busy day. Oh, by the way - glad to note my sneezing is gone. I attribute a portion of this improvement to the cardio and warmer heat...

 09.11.2022 Nice day. Did some walking yesterday, my quads were lactic. Isn't it great how I can do it by just walking at high speeds? And trust me, those are some high speeds. I must've walked close to 10 kms doing this so far. Still have some conventional bureaucracy to deal with. I was both hoping and not to do this today, but I was told to come tomorrow. Cause I wanted to have a nice workout. Fell asleep relatively early yesterday. My bed keeps being uneven. It can be solved by sleeping on two pillows. Woke up, had a slightly-above-moderate breakfast, went back to sleep, slept until 4 PM, felt nice, watched some intense dreams, woke up and now I'm having my cheap coffee. It's okay, it's at least 4/10 if brewed correctly, he he. Gonna do some DLs today. Not too hard, I wanna feel good acceleration. Maybe I'll do a ladder of sets of 8. Last week I was only really getting back into shape a little bit. Not really sure what to do today NGL. Can't heavy a real...

 07.11.2022 Nice day. Managed to fall asleep tonight after having some freshy bought melatonin. Plus the fact that I haven't got enough sleep before helped as well. Did so much walking today. Curious - the sides of my legs are fatigued somehow. I've seen so many pretty women faces. Going ouside is just so intensely stumlating for me. He he he 😎 Imagine if I touched grass! Came back, had a coffee, gave a lesson, very thirsty, gonna have a second coffee now, this one wasn't too strong. Wanna play Fallout 4 Sim Settlements and try to fix the municipal power grid bug (it's not working in some settlements). I love helping settlements. It's the most rewarding part of Fallout 4 for me. It just is. Been listening to Conan a lot while walking today. They have the best tempo for my walking. I haven't heard any other band that fit my tempo like that. I oughta copy that! I think it has to be 100 BPM and less. Praying to God, asking for help. Not feeling alone. Doing what I...

 05.11.2022 Nice day. Yesterday was nice too. A little low on energy. Couldn't sleep. Played Fallout 4 and got killed so many times (three) trying to do the final quest in the Automatron DLC. Got annoyed and had to stop. Well, that'll make my walkthrough much sweeter. Plus, I put the wrong weapons on Ada (robot companion who wishes to avenge her friends who got killed by the evil robots). I put the random ass "grenade laucnher" from Nuka World robots, cause when I started this Survival playthrough in spring I really wanted to try and do Nuka World early, cause that seemed so hard, like a real challenge. Well, I can tell you I had an unoptimized build and I couldn't do it at level 20. At level 30 - way too easy tho, hehe. I can't not go. Categorical imperative. I crave a real challenge. besides, I miss hanging out with grown up men. Chris Duffin - a pretty cool powalifta, even if he's a roid abuser - made a video about being a "powerlifting ronin"...

 03.11.2022 Couldn't sleep. Was too excited. Woke up early, went to a place I first went to 16 years ago. Felt energized. Bought a mcdonalds breakfast. Ordered a quadruple double espresso in a single cup. Octuple. Nice. Met a person. Was told a few things. As expected - bureaucracy, lack of coordination between mail and where I went. Was told to come back later, after the holidays. Got some info - that's good. Excited. Contemplating. But I know now that turning back is pointless - because it's my destinity, rooted in my mind and my soul. I shall. Came back home early, had a nap. Now it's 6:27, I'm finishing my first coffee. I think it's the only one I can have today. Don't want any more. Been enjyoing Conan, the british band. I wish to play like their drummer. Been playing Fallout 4. Yesterday I finally did Cait's drug rehabilitation quest for the first time. The way she talked about how she felt after she got the experimental treatment reminded me of my...

 01.11.2022 Nice day. Woke up with excitement to read my mail. Read it, surprised to find a quick response. Now it'd gonna be better, I hope. 02.11.2022 Really nice day. Been playing Fallout 4 a lot. Managed to wake up somewhat early. Had a decent sized breakfast, but couldn't finish it all. Still felt sleepy, so I went back for a nap. Had the best dream ever. And what's curious is that I didn't have to go into a very deep sleep. I set up a timer for 25 minutes and woke up. The dream was insanely awesome, albeit nonsensical, like many are. It involved me teleporting through the internet and using my superpowers, such as flying. I presented myself as a grotesque somewhat ironic superhero and met a lady, and flew her around. Then I woke. The city that I flew above was awesome looking too. Just the feeling of freedom. Interesting how brain chooses these moments to make me feel happy. I reckon the specific content of my dreams has a biochemical explanation. Had coffee after...