My training log and thoughts

 31.12.2022 Nice day. Slept well. Fiddled with the heating some more - it's still acting weird. Worked for once. Nice large breakfast. helped around. CNS a little tense, I feel like it's a little too easy for me to get angry today. I remember when I was younger I simply did not have control over this emotion. Now I do, and I am quite thankful. Not complete control of course - it takes effort to hold it back. I am proud to being able to do something that a lot of people imagine impossible. Somehow, it's already very late. Last time I've done an easy workout. Not completely, but you know. I feel like I don't need to break my OHP program, like I'm doing with DL. In fact, I think I'll be transforming my OHP program into PP program again. How shameful what happened to my strength in october. A mere natural dip, but heck, it feels like something's been lost. November was nice though. 80% - 4 sets of 5. Sounds nice enough. Between 96 and 104, rough estimate. Or...

 29.12.2022 Nice day. New old life. Honestly, pretty great. The heating and lights work now. Somehow the heater in my room is very hot. Had a nice diverse breakfast, managed to even get some carbs in. Helped around. Had a coffee. Once again very "distracted". Another coffee. Light workout today. Workout Short warmup Squats 3 sets of 15 - bodyweight 16 kg kettle for 10 - goblet squat 32 kg kettle - 2 sets of 10 - goblet squat, surprisingly easy. Love it. Continue being distracted in every way possible. What a time! That's coffee for you. Went downstairs and unloaded the bar from yesterday's DL's, finally. Did some chores. I wonder about human nature and brain chemistry. Sometimes doing things for other, being a little helper feels very rewarding and sometimes it doesn't. Why? A lot of answers there is, possible, some of them actually reflecting truth. Who knows? Dopamine-serotonin whatever. Don't really want to be a materialist, even if nature is materialis...

 28.12.2022 Well. who would have expected. I am home after all, absolutely disenchanted with the premise of what I was gonna do. Unlike last time. Two failures. This one is more magical. There was an underlooed mistake all along. They messed up my contract and it couldn't be changed once I arrived there. So I wasted a lot time. Also, apparently, nobody is getting paid a promised amount. Makes me wonder if I'd like to change my views towards more libertarianism. I've encountered an example of something "private" doing better than municipal. "Private" only in quotes, of course, but alas, it's one of those things the government hasn't been able to do "perfectly" in a long time. Well, human factor. In my case - a lack of communication. They did not check with me. Somebody skipped a step and both of us failed. Even they hadn't skipped this step - I'd still have been there, possibly quite counterproductively. I'm gonna say it once...

 23.12.2022 Nice day. I'm not working out today, yet I wanna write. Managed to sleep tonight. Yesterday I took my melatonin early and just ended up falling asleep. Woke up at six, had another unneccessarily expensive leftover breakfast, then went again. Then I woke and worked. Then kids didn't upset me today. There's no reason to put pressure on them with the homework, seeing how it's almost festive season. I'm laid back and chill. I don't feel in a hurry today. Yes, I would prefer to depart before new year, but I guess it doiesn't matter if I don't. Bureaucracy. Can't live with it, can't live without it. Oh well. I'm just glad I feel peaceful in my head. Practicing guitar and just standing in front of the PC. Reading reddit, leaving comments like a massive normie. He he. 24.12.2022 Well, this is it. I'm going tomorrow. Gonna have a light workout today. Got a call. Happy, excited, a little tense. A new situation to be put in. A meaningful...

 22.12.2022 Nice day. Not much. Slept late, played too much FO4 last night. Had a nice breakfast, worked earlier than I planned, had a cup of instant coffee - the red bushido. It really nice, like normal instant coffee, but bad taste taken away. Then I had a portion of moka jardin original, stronger than average (24 grams instead of 20). Although it's very weak when it's 20, I think the normal portion is made with 22. Tastes nice, but feels not so great. I'm gonna do my deadlifting warmup today and that's pretty much it. Maybe a tiny bit more after that. Made a couple calls today, on the same number I got results on before. You know, when they invited me there two weeks ago. I could have gone the next day. Now they called me once, and I called someone once, no results, I called the normal line phone and nobody's answering. I think I'll call it during daytime tomorrow and simply explain myself. It's just taking too much time. I'd rather go sooner. They to...

 21.12.2022 Nice day. Not much. Didn't play FO4 yesterday. Woke up early went somewhere to help someone, managed to buy some things I was missing. Now I'm thinking and I realise there is so much more that I could, realistically, be in need of. So much. But baggage is limited. On my way back I bought some new coffee. Jardin Original and instant Bushido coffee, but this one costed 30% more - the red label, the one I've been buying in beans. Wondering. Think if most of it will be left I'll take it with me. In a baggie, not a glass jar. It's very late. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do today. How I'm gonna work out. I think I could actually not do DLs today. I might have a light workout today and DLs tomorrow. I really wish to go before this week's end. These last two weeks have passed so quickly. I have a feeling they just forgot once again. I'm call them and tell them it's been two weeks again. What would be a good exercise to do if I wanna do som...

 19.12.2022 Nice day. I'm dissatisfied with my sleeping. All days feels like one as I am waiting. Worked, had a small breakfast, having coffee. Feeling great and confident today. When you reach "highs", when you train unnecessarily intensively, you enjoy yourself very much. It's not just about training, of course. Other things, other pleasures can make you reach those highs and then you fall from them. You crash and feel bad. Then you crawl out. My may 2020 method was very helpful in eliminating the "crashing" and staying above medium, so you're always on the "high". Inevitably, you need - rationally speaking - to push yourself further and then fatigue yourself. I'm talking mentally, although it can apply to other characteristics. Lately I've been feeling insufficient, incapable, like a coward hiding, lonely. Althought I'm definitely not hiding. It's just that I'm not taking enough effort to get where I need to be. I shall p...

 17.12.2022 Nice day. Feeling like all days are the same day. Woke up late, had a small breakfast with coffee right away. Now having second. Gonna do OHPs today. A lot of volume, possibly. I should try to prepare myself for other things. I yearn to go. Yet so many things are dragging me down. I wish to defeat that pointless neuroticism. Learn to use Occam's razor. Coffee helps. It's not jumbling me up today, not making me too angry. There's a clear pattern of what it does to me, cyclically. Plan is the same as DL. They synced up. 95 for 5, 105 - 4 sets of 5. I've done this workout many times already. Hmm. That means I gotta improve the quality of my lifts today. Better speed, hopefully followed by better technique. The more effort you put in - the easier it is to lift. Curious! I shall use the same approach once I'm gone. Hopefully it'll help. I mean, you have to put in effort, right? Workout Warmup - all around, mostly upper body Overhead press 20 50 for 15 - r...

 15.12.2022 Nice day. Slept a few hours during the day. Not at night. Helped someone. Ate a little. Had coffee, gave a lesson. Not it's pretty late. I am eager to play more FO4. Nutrition - good enough, not too much, but my body necessary nutrients. I realise now that sometimes when you overeat you're trying to get enough nutrients from a product that might not have enough of it, but it does have extra calories, for example. That's why you need a little bit of meat regularly, not a lot of it from time time to time. [Social critique, ha ha.] Yesterday's workout wasn't very taxing. It mostly got my nervous system. Coffee feels nice and smooth for my nerves today. I'd just gonna have a real nice easy workout and run the blood through my system. Maybe have a walk too. It's still snowy (shocking 😁 ). Meanwhile, it's not actually astronomical winter around the world - it starts on 21st-22nd. It's actually still november, if we followed the astronomy with ...

 14.12.2022 Nice day. Not much. Slept little, woke up late. Nutrition - less than decent (45/100). A little upset about some things. Realising I might have entered a "psychological shell" once again, judging by the changes in my lifestyle. "Distracted" yesterday and on monday, gaming too much at the wrong time, bad sleep, and the biggest evidence is ordering takeout. Need to change it. How? Take a walk today, perhaps. Not very busy today. Gonna do my DLs. So, I'm supposed to 210 for 5 and go from 230 to 240 in 5 sets of 4. Interesting. I remember thinking something else about my psychology. Something smudgy, don't remember. Something about being able to take on things even when I'm not ready. Wondering about the weights and if they apply. Because, for example, in need less warmup in some exercises. Usually warmup never warms me up enough and the first working set is actually the last set of the warmup. When my body actually activates and lifting becomes ...

 12.12.2022 Nice day. Slept enough, not too much. Decent breakfast. Worked, had a coffee while giving a lesson, then a second one. Feeling a little "distracted". I'm gonna have a light and good workout today. Time to work on my pullups a bit. And generate some energy for my pushups as well. Nice healthy basic exercises. Well, they're not basic enough for you not to accidentally make them hazardous. Just need to learn more about your body and how it works. Workout Warmup - short Wall pushups - 11, 25, 22 Pushups - palms on the floor, fingers half curled for least wrist tension 10 - feels pretty great, my workout last week definitely had some effect 40 - done unnecessarily strictly, feels good 50 - a bit more lax with the technique 60 with dumbbells as handles Pulls (rubber) 25 light 25 hard - actually loaded up my rear delts! Didn't think it was possible with rubber. Did some flys (not flies) and variations of them - 2 sets Pullups 15 reps - pretty hard, but I did ...

 10.12.2022 Not much has been happening. Waiting in excitement. Yesterday I slept little and didn't even play any games at night. Fell asleep at midnight and woke up at 5. Waited, worked, had a nice breakfast, slept some more, now I'm having coffee. Another pack. Jardin Cafe Eclair. Not expensive, but decent. Simple arabica. Although, perhaps, the fact that I've not had a lot of coffee lately helps this fact. 6:30. Not sure if late of early. I know I'll end up playing FO4 a lot today. Today's plan is simple - 95 for 5, and 105 for 5 sets of 4. Should be easy. But remember - never treat a light weight like a light weight! Workout Short mostly upper body warmup. Delayed no longer and started packing my stuff! I really better know what I have and where it is. Overhead press 20 for a few reps - really squeaky shoulders around brachialis, I really need more L-flys (not flies). Did then while continuing to sort a variety of my stuff. God, let me not go astray! Pray for me...

 08.12.2022 Nice day. Went somewhere. It's happening. I was given an option to go tomorrow. But I have a few things to finish, and it quickly turned out I have even more. Slept very little due to excitement, a little sleepy all day today. Had to walk a lot. Gonna work out very lightly today. I was way into playing FO4 last night. Building settlements. Slept some and worked. Having expensive instant Bushido coffee. Someone poured water right into the jar earlier today. Funny. Remember when I would do three sets of fifteen squat and just call it a day for a light workout? What a time, he he. I can barely remember what I did for light workouts in early summer 2020. What a time that was as well. I can't believe it's been so long. Workout Short upper body warmup L-flys (not flies) with a pair of 2 kg dumbbells - 3 sets Rubber lat pulls - 2 sets, with one and two hands Some rubber supported squats. All my DL muscles are pretty sore, and from running too.

 07.12.2022 Nice day. Slept very little. Woke up too early, had breakfast, waited, worked, then fell asleep too hard for too long. Slept until rather late. Yesterday I tried to run, but energy was low. It was colder than usually. I did one kilometer, mostly walking. For a moment felt a little ill today. Not sure if I wanna run. Great news - the bureaucracy is moving forward. I have somewhere to go and something to do tomorrow. I wonder if I'll have a chance to write anything once I'm there. If I will, it will be very short and obscure. Just like normal life. 20:37. Finished my first coffee. Mediocre, but alright. Wanna order groceries. Wanted to do it early yeserday. Really want eggs for some reason. Never in my life I've had such an appetite for eggs. I wonder if it's psychological. Pretty late. I got DLs today. Not the heaviest ones. 4 sets of 8, going from 200 to 210. Should be easy, just like OHPs on saturday. And then I'll be warm enough to run outside well. Wo...

 05.12.2022 Nice day. It's been almost two weeks. Slow. Sleeping not great. But I'm no longer dumb enough to bother myself over this. I know if needed I'll wake up early and keep waking up early. I know it for certain. Had one coffee. Strangely sick of it. It happens. In periods. Had a cup of decent instant coffee. We're having a light workout today. I mean, really light. Last week we were doing a lot of unexpectedly heavy stuff. Well, not really. Last two weeks, more like it. I actually like my mixing on As Yggdrasil. More than those other commercial bands. I'm thinking, what if I only used a limiter on the master bus, but assigned expanders with, uhm, punchy compressors on instrument busses? It's been so long since I worked on mixing well. I don't want to get back into music before I leave. I don't want to miss it as much. Weird. Meanwhile, I keep doing a lot of random noodling as well as somewhat structured exercising on my acoustic and classical. Pas...

 03.12.2022 Nice day. Slept very little after playing FO4 all night just managing settlements, worked, slept some more, woke up, had to help someone with something cumbersome in a sily way (thankfully my mental training helped avoid getting angry! Thank God.) Had a small pastry breakfast. We have a lot of leftover pastries. And porridge. It was already late, so I had a coffee as well. This time I mixed egoiste purple and my medium coffee. I don't remember which one it is anymore... It's been quite a while actually. Can't believe it's just a kilo of beans. They're technically not beans, did you know that? One of those silly little annoying facts. Yesterday was a nice day too. Didn't sleep much. Had a strangely strong appetite but felt like I was overeating every time I ate. Was really tired, "second day fatigue" after DLs and such. But I managed to run after midnight! The whole novely of running very late turned mt onto this. And I actually set a runnin...