My training log and thoughts

 28.12.2024 This week I've been enjoying my time in GTA Online, playing in the snow. It has that real uncanny, liminal feeling while it's snowing. Cause it's not exactly like in real life, it's an old set of 'winter' stereotypes like adding a snow texture on top of everything and white fog in the sky, but still it looks nice and unusual. I've been having a lot of fun trolling people, driving around a buggy that can drop mines. One guy - a fairly toxic guy who decided to play a hide'n'seek CEO open world mission and I was the only one trying to find him - he got so butthurt he used some modding stuff that still works to crash my game. "My friend will ask you to leave" he said. I assume he's using some other account in the background so his main account doesn't get banned. Pretty silly what the modders get used to doing. But eventually, after restarting the crashed game and hopping some lobbies I ended up in that lobby again, trolling...

 26.12.2024 Yesterday was pretty amazing. I ended up sleeping all day today, pleasant dreams. Nutrition decent, energy not too low. I feel like I straight up *need* to work out today. OHP session 15 it is supposed to be. 4 sets of 3 with 82,5%. So around 110. Hmm. Doable? Perhaps. And I think I could do the usual thing - cut the volume slightly to make up for it with PP. My PP needs a lot of attention, a lot more than bench does. Workout Warmup - some, PWC pipe presses and L-flys Overhead press 20 for 20 50 for 10 70 for 8 90 for 5 100 for 3 110 for 3 not bad 110 for 3 difficult, had to overcome superstition 110 for 3 decent Push press 70 for 3 80 for 3 90 for 3 100 for 3 113 for 3 123 for 1 Overall, PP was decent. Pushing not perfect, control over bar not perfect, but the impulse in push os present and I'm using my arms properly. On the last set I kinda kicked into my right hip. It felt strained. That's why I need to do partial squats. But I did not have enough time for it tod...

 25.12.2024 Nice day. Fuck everything. Deadlift session 8 - 4 sets of 2 with 85%. Just 255. Should be easy since it's just doubles. You know, I kinda wanna distance myself from this 'music' scene. I'm not one of these people. No, I am not. Just no. I am not. Music to me is not the same thing it is to them. My music is a chalk drawing on a barn wall. Their music is advertisement. No, no, no, no, no. Just no. Fuck them all, and fuck ever advertising my music. Fuck that shit. This is a deepest perversion of what it means to me. This is taking the music and turning it into some kind of self-degrading circus. Dance, monkey, dance. I am not one of those people. And monkey enjoy dressing up pretty and telling each other 'I'm not like the other monkey'. No, this is BS. This is art, but a very turned art... Still, a curious expression of humanity. Flawed, cursed, perturbed humanity. Deadlift day hits different. One large conventional brew. Food is shit. Good, but shi...

24.12.2024 It's technically 24rd, but it is 23rd to me. Maybe the clock is onto something... Maybe it's trying to tell me that it is actually Tuesday already. I have a few ideas. I will deal with my sleep schedule. Glad it's my only real issue right now. Well, some other minor issues are tied to it but I'm chill (or procrastinating, since there's no deadline realistically). You gotta be chill, man. Very few things matter. And those that do - they don't matter than much. Bench 20 for 20 50 for 2 sets of 10 70 for 2 sets of 10 80 for 2 sets of 10 90 for 2 sets of 10 Just getting my pecs used to all the stretching. Conditioning. I think I need to bench on other days, fr fr. Calf raises - 3 sets of 20 oldschool long range style Squats - 3 sets of 15 in front of the window, slow and controlled, not weightlifting-like. It's 4 AM. I finished the downstairs workout at around 2. All I want is to be able to wake up when there's light outside. I think all I really ...

 21.12.2024 I've been trying to fix my sleep schedule and it's not been going right. Maybe something has been going right, I don't know what. And yeah, technically it's 22nd. Workout Minimal upper body warmup Overhead press 20 50 for 5 50 for 20 - I'm realizing I just can't allow myself to attempt to have a serious downstairs workout if I am serious about finding a way to 'fix' my sleeping schedule Upstairs One arm press 16 - 3 sets of 20, split in 10 rep parts Looking at the bright side - it could have been worse, I know it well. I have been doing some things to make sure it's not worse - good for me. Illness, for example. 32 - 2 sets of 10 22.12.2024 A little better. I switched a few things, I think today we can, I dunno, do something. It's kinda late, but not the wrong kind of late. I would love to work out every day, if I could just adjust a few things. There are signs pointing to brain changes that I am experiencing. Different from how it us...

 19.12.2024 OHP session 14 today. 5 sets of 4 with 80% and a strict single with 82,5%. The working weight for OHP will be around 108. PP around 125... Will that be too much? Probably not. I feel much better today. It's kinda late - past midnight, in fact. But still, I think I can have a nice one. *** Okay. after some thinking I decided that it's not the right way to go about it and I'm gonna have a light one instead. A really light one. But it'll also help me alleviate soreness from yesterday (moderate). Workout Lat rubber pulls 3 sets of 20 - medium. Lats are pretty decently blasted after yesterday, mostly thanks to weird uneven grips hehe. Tricep extension from behind head, 2 springs (very light) Supersetted with wall pushups 3 sets of 50 (in each) - surprisingly hard for tricep today Watching and listening to Yale psychology course while doing this... Tricep and pecs decently pumped. I am pretty sure I NEED more upstairs workouts... That will give me better recovery....

 18.12.2024 You know, I've been feeling weird. Hard to get out of the house, hard to change my sleeping schedule. I'm used to sleeping during the day, simple as that. Hey, I do stuff in the morning to, when other people need me and stuff like that, although I am usually tired by that time. Yesterday I was supposed to go somewhere and finally start dealing with some of those clerical mistakes that are my problem despite not me making those mistakes. But I was feeling inflamed in my brain, for the lack of the better expression, I was tense, anticipating, unable to sleep until I decided I wasn't gonna go anywhere since I don't feel so great. Curious, isn't it? Overall it's not a big deal, because, well, it's simply not urgent. But it bothers me. I wanna be able to wake up somewhat earlier in the day but I seem to be unable to. I can't just make a choice to go to bed and fall asleep at a certain time. I can make a choice to go bed earlier than what I'm u...

 16.12.2024 Nice day. Good nutrition, decent sleep. I realized that the word 'fancy' is connected to the word 'fantasy'. Mind = blown. Bench and squat today. Working on expanding chemical storages in pecs. I was thinking I could do 5 sets of 10 with 110 kgs. It should take very little. I admit I also don't have the most elevated mood today. I feel good, but I don't feel excited. Compressed somewhat. I have something mildly unusual I have to do tomorrow, now that excites me. I have some unresolved issues, inside and outside of my mind. I just wish I was free in a way I imagine freedom. But no, I am dragged down to the ground. I feel like there's a way to be much more free than I am now, I used to have that. It requires careful balance, a lot of patience, and most importantly God's grace. Gratitude for His grace. Workout Warmup, upper body Bench 20 and 40 70 for 10 90 for 10 110 for 2 sets of 10 - decent. Pecs feel frail but not breaking. IMPORTANT TIDBIT ...

 14.12.2024 Nice day. Sleep irregular but plentiful. Nutrition finally decent. In fact, I cannot stop farting. It's starting to become annoying. So, what is it today... OHP session 13. 4 sets of 6 with 72,5%... And a 'strict single' with 82,5%. Hmm. And, of course, we'll split it up to do some PP. I expect to see real improvements in PP today... So, we'll go 3 sets of 6 - from 90 to 98. And perhaps analogous sets of 3 in PP with around or up to 115-120 kgs. Workout Warmup - somewhat thorough, mostly focusing on rotator cuffs Overhead press 20 for 20 40 for 20 70 for 6 90 for 6 - nice, I liked how smooth and in control this set was, but it was still not very powerful, not very high impulse, as it is still warmup 95 for 5 it kinda turned bad cause I didn't collect myself... The problem is that my middle back is sort of tweaking. I believe I lost some mobility in my hips and now the angle is hitting my spine. I think I should working on my hips as well as see if us...

 12.12.2024 Pretty fatigued today after yesterday's workout. CNS fatigued too, but there are sparks of leftover excitement. Nutrition feels a little better. Started my day with some cold tea, brewing a conventional medium-sized portion of coffee, and finishing off the beans&veggies&couple meatballs from yesterday. I've been on some kind of weird vegetable binge, there's something weird about it. Well, I'll buy some newer groceries soon. Kinda sleepy, kinda lax. But I think I will have a nice workout today. Not exactly sure what I'll be going for. I can tell I'd prefer to go light on squats. But bench? I think I'll go for a bit of a 'pyramid'. A 'pyramid' can be seen differently; if you look at it from left to right then it's when you start with a light weight for many reps, go to heavy weights for low reps and go back down. But if you look at it from the front you can imagine the high rep sets are the base and low rep sets are the...

 11.12.2024 Been feeling a little weird, otherwise nice. Decent sleep, okay nutrition. Well, I admit my nutrition might turn out to be more subpar than I expected. I am seeing some patterns from the past and I suspect I might be slacking on my nutrition, on the macros at least. But I have again been eating a lot of vegetables and mostly useless stuff like that. Mostly, but not completely. Had some food... Feeling better. I'm going through my typical mental cycles. In 2024 they feature significantly less suffering than they did last year, hehe. Yesterday was kind of a lovely day, but I kinda wasted it by getting 'distracted' with the wrong kind of writing... The meaningless kind, the one where you play with AI and get stuck in a loop. DL session 6 - 4 sets of 5 with 77,5%. 233 kgs. I feel really like shit today... But rather mentally than physically. How does that happen? Workout Deadlift 20 for 10 70 for 10 120 for 8 160 for 5 here I ended up warming up my hands with my met...

 09.12.2024 OHP session 12 - 5 sets of 2 with 85%. So, 110. I've been feeling decent today. Not perfect, diet not perfect but sufficient. Friday was crazy, Saturday half and half, yesterday was really introspective and quiet and today it's picking up very slowly. My body currently has great resistance to caffeine, but that's only to be expected. It's not going to be quite the case on Wednesday. I had one conventional large brew - but only by volume of liquid, it had about 30% less grounds than it needed for the volume of coffee, so basically it was too weak. Now I'm having a second small conventional, it's a little stronger but still doesn't feel quite right. I'd rather not have any coffee than have weak coffee. So you shouldn't be sorry about 'wasting' beans when you try to make a decent portion. Workout Warmup - minimal Overhead press 20 40 for 10 70 for 8 90 for 5 100 for 3 110 for 2 - all that was sort of done as a quick warmup, relativel...

 07.12.2024 Lovely day today so far. Woke up miraculously twenty minutes after missing my alarm. A little exhausted... Yesterday, I gotta tell you, was simply an amazing day for me. I slept very little yesterday, in contrast to two previous days. I had an insane amount of fun over the day. I had the most fun I had in years, or possibly ever playing GTAO casually yesterday - just doing the good old delivery missions while joking with various gamer anons in Russian lobbies. The first one was Russian, it was a lot of fun. I did two boat delivery missions in a full lobby - you know, it's kind of boring mission when you're the only one playing in 'your group', cause it's meant to be done as an 'organisation'. And other players see you on the map and are being constantly given directives to go and grief you, even though they'll receive very little for it except for mental satisfaction. I managed to do one full mission before getting griefed, so I was happy tha...

 05.12.2024 Yesterday was quite the banger. I have some doubts about today being a heavy day, but I think I might be wrong. OHP session 11 - 4 sets of 3 with 82,5%. 107 kgs... Pretty heavy. I'm really enjoying myself right now, I gotta say. I woke up early yesterday successfully, but today that didn't happen, I could not fall asleep on time. I woke up late again. I was really excited yesterday by the end of the day. It tells you something about how my CNS works. Excited, brimming with ideas, creative energy edged up to the top. Dreams, the usual type - some strangely dark content but overall leaving me feel elated, making me feel strangely good and safe amidst all the weird undpredicable things. Workout Warmup - fairly thourough, additional focus on back flexibility Overhead press 20 50 for 10 70 for 8 90 for 5 100 for 3 105 for 3 - I decided this is first working set, feels solid. Also it was all fairly quick 108 for 3 lovely but spines are clashing again in the mid upper back...

 04.12.2024 Nice day. Actually both managed to sleep long enough and wake up early. Decent breakfast. Large pot of conventional. DL session 5 . 67,5% for 5 sets of 8. Just a 200. Fitness. Gotta do it perfectly. Important memory: I used a narrow belt this Monday for my weightlifting type of squat. A much better belt for this type of squat! Workout Warmup - thigh squeezes and rotations with rubber and large reverse clothespin thingy. Frontal lobes feel really cloudy, phasing Deadlift 70 - 120 - 160 for 8 all overhand 193 for 8 - 5 kinda louse reps overhand and 3 in straps. But I think it's still a mini PR for grip 😁 203 for 8 okay, high belt, very easy 203 for 8 - lovely, all fairly easy, mid belt 203 for 8 - easy, high belt but loose. I think I prefer mid belt (duh), mostly cause high belt restricts breathing so much more. By the way, I am supposed to do a strict single today as well... What is it supposed to me? You know, I had a mild impulse to try and max out today, that was wei...

 01.12.2024 Plans for today's activity: very light tricep pump, curls and lats, neck. On Monday we shall do Bench and Squat again, and heavier tricep pump. 02.12.2024 Didn't happen, fell asleep early yesterday. I wanted to do something, something that was an 'activity', but my body needed rest. Similar situation today. Today we're doing bench and squat. We'll be doing bench for 5s, not very high volume. It'll take some time. Workout Warmup - some, upper body Bench 20 - 40 - 70 - 90 120 - 2 sets of 5 - okay, feels alright, pecs are not tearing so far 120 for 2 sets of 5 - great, got some pump here by the end. Could I have done all these sets in a one set? No today, but in theory - I think it's possible, perhaps even soon... 120 for 20 reps? All I need is tough resilient bouncy tissue in my pecs. Squat 20 - 50 - 100 - 120 - 140 for 5 Squat felt great today. Thank God! Hallelujah! There was minimal discomfort in my hip, but nowhere else! Keeping the volume ...