My training log and thoughts

 31.05.2025 Nice day. Horrible, hot, humid weather. Nutrition at the lowest. But I ate today. During the day. That meat and apple puree I made yesterday sure burned my ass, heh. Right after I smelled the coffee. Enjoyed the first coffee. Enjoying writing, albeit a little chaotic. New stuff, over old outlines. A lot of really, really new stuff - in my own voice. Workout Some warmup - pushup static variations Bench 20 and 70 upper pecs hurt a lot - but not fragile 120 for 5 not bad, painful 150 for 3 - lovely, easy, not as painful - feels good, I know I'm stronger 150 for 3 150 for 3 - easy, I love it 155 for 3 - hard, but I did it; some fairly minimal arching on the third 155 for 3 - great, much easier. As I was pressing the third rep my ass jerked automatically but I didn't have to bridge at all - it was easy enough. Left shoulder getting a little impinged against the bench all the time. Need to find a way to deal with it. 90 for 25 partial reps - gotta give the other cells som...

 30.05.2025 Nice day. Been feeling like shit, inside of my head. Confused, so angry - but, like, not depressed, not upset, just feeling like I'm covered in mustard. Biochemical shit. Distracted minorly. "Minorly" is really annoying word, a parasite word. It'll leave me soon I hope. I keep saying it. Didn't work out yesterday. That possibly contributed to shitty feeling. Got new crocs yesterday. Apparently my size is 46 european after all. I don't know why it's such a revelation. Probably because my old crocs are near completely caved out to size 48 or more lol. Strong feet, I always have my big toe burst through shoes. Lucky. Other people get bunyans. I just get ruined shoes. Head empty, head confused, like a goshdarn mixer of garbage. So angry. Cooked strange food yesterday. I wanted my chinese pork but there barely was 150 grams left. I did something cool. I sifted flour - should have been starch, but I don't think we have it. Really fine. Crushed, p...

 28.05.2025 Nice day. Been sleeping decent, eating above average. I came to conclude I need to try and finish all the clerical business before I get back into action. It's a difficult thing for me, I have to do it. Third time's the charm, I've been bothering helpless 'clerics' two times already. Now I gotta go further. Today's the end of a microcycle... Wait, or is it? I think it is. 260 - 5 sets of 3 done to perfection. In other words, I really need to rip and tear. Writing has slowed down marginally - no biggie. Also been playing New Vegas and 76. Mostly doing nothing, I admit - finished some side quests in The Sink and doing public events in 76. It does stimulate my imagination though, it's all feeling pretty nostalgic. 76 is going to be 10 years old in three years... Hmm. Workout Warmup - writing and reading a whole ass large scene, 2000+ words - albeit with quite some dialogue, which, in turn, is not that easy either whatsoever in fact 😁 Some hip stret...

 25.05.2025 Why do I get excited on the days when I DON'T have a workout? It better not be BECAUSE I don't have a workout! 😁 Speaking of, my pecs and shoulders are super fresh. Should I?.. I woke up with faint half-dream seeing a poster telling me not to miss out on this Summer. You know what I'm talking about - going back there again. Truly prove I do not give a fuck about money and just not bother to get my remaining pay before I go 😁 Lol. Maybe that's what it was all about! All I **really** want is a new phone though, before I go there. As I said before, my little Chinaman is great pound for pound, but he definitely qualifies for retirement at this point. One zoomer I knew talked about spending 100k rubles on a phone... SMH my head, I just don't get it. It's half of what you earn per month, darn it! **deep sigh** I wish I wasn't a little pussy boy and got my bearings on time. Damn, the stuff I could have done, purely hypothetically speaking! FOMO is a b...

 22.05.2025 Nice day. Slept nicely; side pain is not present. Got really tired yesterday! Legs sore. Ate well - some bird meat and made really thick pancakes! I got really lucky portioning ingredients, for the first time in a while I managed to cook solid pancaked. Really fluffy, too. Ate them with some old banana syrup. Yesterday I worked out in time but didn't manage to write anything. Today it's the opposite. I started writing, felt my language lacking; took a pause, went downstairs to read some Blood Meridian, got pumped with fancy vocabulary. Made a second coffee, another couple pancakes. Wrote a very important scene, feeling satisfied. Workout An easy one today! Some fairly minimal shoulder warmup. Superset - kettlebell swings and one arm press 16 kg - 4 sets Squat - some hip stretching/horseman stance. 23.05.2025 My Winamp was working weird on my PC - it'd never open the playlist files, I had to drag them over into the window! It'd open itself first, whatever was...

 21.05.2025 Five years since I've had this blog - well, actually no but no matter; five years since I've switched to a different lifestyle which this blog became a part of. I've been neglecting this really lively part of mine, a squiggly, faceless slimy eel of my mind; it's not a normal one, it's not one eel - it's many; they're here, they're white, they're something new but old. They're shaking me and I'm shaking them; espetulante. Flowing, flowing, flowing. Confused? Not really, no more, no nothing, no nowhere; pulse, rhythm, beat, feeing - newness, openness - no longer wounded, seeking, feeling, sensing, touching, grabbing... It will be mine, it is mine by right. Food? No, more than that... Fulfillment. Speaking off - nutrition has been moderate, sleep very decent. That Monday workout kicked my ass proper. The muscles right against the backbone got stretched well! And I think those stiff legged deadlifts might have cured my left-side disco...

 19.05.2025 Lovely day. Lovely sleep, enjoyable dreams, decent food. Getting a little exhausted after giving lessons, but then my CNS got amped up. Writing. 240 for 5 sets of 5 and some accessory work. I'll amp up the weights, but only a little, perhaps - it's a good opportunity to focus on QUALITY of the lift. High speed, high energy, great acceleration and velocity! Workout Deadlift 20 for 10 70 for 10 120 for 5 160 for 5 straps 200 for 5 240 for 5 - pretty casual and quick, but cardio loaded 😁 Not warmed up just yet... 240 for 5 240 for 5 lovely, no straps, five breaths and five reps - cardio decent! 240 for 5 same, mixed grip, possibly even faster - more difficult for cardio, slightly... You gotta assume that if I'm doing the reps faster it loads my strength fibers more? Well, indirectly speaking, if you're making the BREAK between reps shorter then the speed of the rep is HIGHER too... 240 for 5 - this one was a huge mess. First I came downstairs; whenever I leane...

 17.05.2025 Kind of a nice day. CNS hasn't been perfect, but brain condition alright; food - very low, haven't had a proper meal from Thursday to this morning. Been awake since 2 AM; some mental tension - most of it dissipated today. Let's hope I'll have good sleep. Workout Warmup - some, distracted by writing, so it's okay Overhead press 20 and some hang cleans today 40 - 50 70 for 5 presses and 3 more hang clean and presses 90 - same, but getting slow. Using straps on two out of three clean and presses. 90 - one clean and five presses, one clean and two presses, and one clean and press - some pauses, not really what I'd call a single set - in my completely subjective estimation this set took 2+ minutes. The last rep was really good; good grip, pulling shoulders back, smooth like hard soap. Today I decided to push myself and rewrote two scenes instead of one as I've been doing. And there were some days when I 'wrote' way too much, a lot, in other wo...

 15.05.2025 Workout Warmup - very energetic Bench 20 - 50 - 100 125 - 3 sets of 8 140 for 3 145 for 3 148 for 3 Squat 20 - 50 100 for 3 150 for 3 150 - 2 sets of 3 paused - I think I've gotten a little better at paused squat mostly with the help of my hip stretching. Used thin belt, medium grip.

 14.05.2025 Slept all night. Dreams weird but nice. Nutrition moderate but should probably be enough. Now, I wanna figure out my new program. I wrote it out. I think it's the first time ever I wrote out a program for myself - it's based on feelings. The goal is 290-300. It's very long, honestly - I might wanna adjust it eventually. It's mostly rep work! Well, I'll paste it here for an extra reference - but it's not the main reference. Deadlift program 4 microcycles - all heavy 1) First microcycle - starting from 4*8 and ending at 5*3 2) Second - starting from 5*6 medium heavy and ending at 5*3 slightly heavier 3) Third - starting from 5*5 heavy and ending at 6*2 very heavy - might be longer than first two 4) Fourth - starting from 5*4 and ending with 8*1 really heavy - longer than other microcycles 5) Maxout short microcycle. Down to medium 5*5, slightly heavier and then a maxout All microcycles, except first involve splitting volume roughly 60/40 between heavy ...

 12.05.2025 Feeling really laid back today. Enjoyed working and some writing. I'm switching almost fully to the ai not helping me - I've come to conclude that I need (or am simply used to receiving) help when it comes to some specific phrases, speechwriting and *alternatives* for my description. Sometimes I feel awkward like a caveman with autism; then I need help to - a couple small ideas to knock me out from that kind of state. Otherwise I'm actually capable of writing my own story action... And it will show. I will probably end up posting the chapters again. I'm no longer quite as butthurt as I used to be - ai isn't giving me more help than google or wikisource would - but it does make it faster. Workout In a **really** laid back mood today. Distracted - but not too much. Warmup - ended up doing one arm presses upstairs One arm press 16 kg kettlebell - 3 sets - making sure to loosen my wrist, so that the kettle is on my forearm, changing the lever angle a little....

 10.05.2025 You know, I forget I that I sacrificed my strength gains in 2024 for my country. If only I got paid well - i.e. on time - I'd be sacrificing the rest of this year likely as well. When you train hard you wanna go back to war; that success in the gym - it starts to feel false, unimportant. You can only feel is as unimportant only when you've gone ahead and achieved something. I had so many good periods of steady strength gains. My mind wasn't ready to go though; still a kid, a large part of me was back then. I had to great broken apart and put together in the right order. Since 2024 was largely a sacrifice - I was still lifting very light in January. Really hoping things were gonna change soon. But no, old Donnie doesn't have an iron hand to do what he needs to do to the ones that need the hard doing done to them. Hmm. That's what you get for being a 'businessman'. No matter. I can't get to my point... Point is, I was weak and truly out of shap...

 08.05.2025 Nice day. Finally slept well. Ate okay. Workout Deadlift 20 - 70 - 120 160 for 5 200 for 3 all overhand! grip PR 😮 Mostly just because of new vertical lift technique! 230 for 2 straps from here 250 for 2 260 for 1 lovely 273 for 1 a little too hard for my liking - but it was fast. Using Manowar to measure breaks... You're allowed one song per rest 😁 That's an oldschool method, keeping you on your toes... 290,5 - 3 sets of 0. As usual, the first one was the best, held it at a sticking point (just below my knees), shook my hams and had to drop it. I have to change a few things. It's been three weeks of me trying to max out - very silly. At least I got that 283 bone, lol. I know I can do more - if I peak out right. I need to train a little differently. Have a program now, and add accessory work. I had had the program in DL the longest - it was still important. Good to know I'm more or less in a good shape, however. I just gotta get consistent. I remember thos...

 07.05.2025 Nice day. Slept little, but slept a lot yesterday. Yesterday disappeared pretty much. Brain has been a mess, really stifled, hard and dry. Don't know what's going on. Otherwise feeling good. Rib pain came back a little, but it was different - just a muscle stiffness. Stomach has been unproblematic. My shin still hasn't healed, that does bother me. Why does it take so long? My writing is ass. I do have a voice, but I don't use it much. When I do, I can see it, it's original enough. But it started out playing as ai. But I can write. Ai helped by being the mirror... A mirror of assness, sadly. It was intriguing, entertaining. New things, depths of knowledge, new technology. Now it's a stick in the mud. I've done a lot of self-discovery and self-entertainment by playing with ai. Now I wanna turn my fun into creativity. I had a full book written under my specific directions not in my voice. My rewriting and re-editing efforts allowed the voice to emer...

 05.05.2025 Nice day. Technically it's 6th. I've been feeling a little messy, stiff in my brain. Enjoyed giving lessons today. Now I'm reading and editing. But not doing much new stuff. I didn't want to try and write a book, I wanted to experience a form of an adventure and AI was just a complex DnD die, like a deck of a bunch of things or however you call it. Now I'm stuck writing and trying to purge the AI not only from the text but my own phrasing because I've picked up on so much AI stuff after these years since Fall 2022. In fact, arguably before that - but GPT3 had different writing stereotypes. And, in fact, new models also have different ones. They all change. So, in just a year those writing stereotypes will look outdated - except for the most persistent ones. I can write normally, but not only am I lazy, I am sometimes incapable and I just use this shit to nudge my ass and make my move at least somehow. That's my whole point - doing something is in...

 01.05.2025 Feeling good. Nutrition decent - ate little but at least stomach feels okay. Workout Warmup - some pushup variations, wrist stretches Bench 20 - 70 100 for 5 120 for 5 130 for 5 140 for 5 145 for 5 not bad 148 for 5 150,5 for 5 - not bad. I hesitate to call it a PR, but it was a nice heavy set - the last rep, however, I had to struggle and bridge up til my lats helped my triceps 😁 Enjoying writing. Might I work out tomorrow? Don't know. 03.05.2025 Nice day. No pain 😀 Yesterday too. Workout Warmup - long, mostly wrists Overhead press and clean 20 70 - 2 sets of 2 cleans and presses - not in that order. I think it was a press, then two cleans and another press. 100 - 2 sets of 2 - same. One clean was only to chest - I decided to count it for volume. Then I switched it up a little and managed to clean better. Enjoying rewered playlist on my player. Brutal god the band is pretty good! Push press 100 for 2 very easy, close to presspush 120 for 2 lovely, smooth - CNS is nea...