My training log and thoughts

 30.09.2024 Nice day. Lovely dreams I had. Nutrition slightly above average, sleep good. Had a lovely dream about a nuclear apocalypse. Well, it wasn't exactly that. You know, it's one of those times you know a dream made sense, at least some sense when you were in it, sleeping. A bunch of colorful characters gathered in a cellar, I amidst them. I had some kind of female lover in my dream, it all sprayed oxytocin in my old skullbox. Pleasant dreams. I'm really a kind of guy who uses physical communication a lot, I need to touch people, but we've been conditioned by the newer society that it's a little weird. Back when I had friends they'd occasionally comment about how it's weird and I might be gay or something, but it was all in good spirits, as far as I can tell at least. Sometimes you just wanna hug someone or grab someone by the arm. I've grown too solitary to allow myself to act like this in public anymore. You can see it on my face, I guess - I...

 29.09.2024 Kind of a nice day. Sleep below average, nutrition above average. Very "distracted", kind of. I wanna have a light workout today, with some prehab work. My side is feeling better. Workout Curls, side twists, side bends in different variations - 3 sets with a pair of 2 kg dbs There are so many varieties of cool weird exercises you can do for your sides. They need training. Monolateral and bilateral. Moving the pair of dumbbells to the side. Kind of like that exercise for martial artists when they slam the ball into the wall while standing sideways to the wall. 6 kg dbs - same - curls, side bend variations, side twists - 2 sets. It was honestly hilarious looking, especially one variation I came up with - arms in a cross position (fly), and doing side/hid bends while maintaining arms parallel to the ground. Overall really difficult dance move! He he. Arms cramping. I've been thinking of buying potassium and magnesium in powder form so I can have my own gatorade e...

 27.09.2024 Lovely day, four hours of sleep but I feel okay. Kind of fuzzy, but smooth enough. I hope I'm not overexaggerating. Had a couple conventional coffee - because I just really wanted them. Thirsty. I wanna do some pumping and prehab today even though it's a rest day. Should be nice. Got nothing except questions about my workout tomorrow. It's very uncertain, in other words... let's see what we can do today! Workout Warmup - mostly just arms and forearms, some torso moves 6+6 kg dumbbells - 2 sets of various experimental curls and presses - mostly windmill presses to see how much I can load my injured obliques before they hurt (almost doesn't hurt). The weights were so light I could actually punch them, or imagine I'm some bad person when I was curling, hehe. That makes you use more of your CNS in the lift without loading it as much as a heavy weight would! Today's supposed to be a rest day. I kinda really want to go back to training every day, someh...

 26.09.2024 Nice day. Slept well, nutrition okay I presume - not good nor bad. Just don't feel hungry, although I only really had disgusting marinated chicken which I fried in batter and then baked in the oven for an hour. The batter was kind of nice and curious, cause I made it with half wheat flour and half out flour. And a lot of pepper of course. It's unique. It would have been better if I had a proper fryer and fresh chicken rather than have to bake it for an hour. Because if it was any less it was sooo disgusting. I can tell, I tried to eat it. May wanna buy groceries again soon enough. I haven't had a proper 'Russian breakfast' in a while. 'Russian breakfast' in my iteration is a couple pork chops or cutlets, couple stripes of bacon, couple eggs and then a load of veggies - tomatoes, cucumber, bell pepper, or marinated veggies like pickles and garlic, and, of course, let's not forget the onion slices - frankly, they go so well with any kind of por...

 23.09.2024 OHP session 8. 4 sets of 2 with 85%. 102 or 103 kgs. Every man is a separate man. There's no global *single* evil. Some of those lesser - but still large - evils, all sorts of big guys - use certain categories of people as a buffer to absorb hate that should be headed towards them. That's one of the conclusions I arrived to recently. Also, a curious conclusion about myself. You may start to imagine yourself as kind of special thing that is lesser (i.e. worse) than a normal thing but is still good cause it's special (after after undergoing some trauma or continual failure of some kind). End up putting a stereotypical false "unique" label on yourself. That's what I was thinking about myself for a long time. But no more, I'm taking this label off myself. That's enough about that. I'm normal, i.e. not exceptional. Exceptional usually has a good connotation, doesn't it? But, again, enough about that. You know, it's strange. It's ...

 21.09.2024 Nice day. Slept semi-okay, nutrition a tiny bit above average. Yesterday was a lot of fun, I jammed for the first time in a while and recorded it. My skills have dulled, a lot. Not a big deal, they are coming back, if I can maintain that careful balance of excitement without losing control! Today's we're squatting. We don't have a idea about exactly what we're doing, but we are sort of following a rotating and extending microcycle system here as well. I feel like I wanna do some medium to heavy fours today. Sets of four. Should be lovely! I've been in touch with my legs. Feeling them. They're not in tiptop shape, tissue and fragility wise, but they are strangely good. Good in a good way (as opposed to deluded), that's what I'm trying to tell myself. Ask them what I mean, and they'll explain it, they're good at making guesses. Workout Warmup - fairly thorough, upper and lower body Squat 20 - 50 - 100 120 for 5 okay, not too bad 150 for...

 19.09.2024 OHP session 7. Gotta move on! 4 sets of 4 with 80%. So we'll go with 95-98. Hmm. I'd love to see how it turns out. Sleep have been decent, nutrition above average. Workout Warmup - pretty thorough, upper and lower body Overhead press Oiled up the second pair of hooks (barbell supports), washed my hands, applied some chalk 20 for 10 50 for 8 okay, it kinda doesn't feel too bad, I guess Came back to see that I managed to log into a public lobby with another player who had a 8000 rank... (modded account, i.e. cheater or bought this account from a cheater) And all this time (over 20 minutes) I didn't get kicked? While I kept getting kicked yesterday for "untrusted host"? A bit of gaming news there for you, in preparation for GTA6 Rockstar is testing an anti-cheat Did I mention I had a dream in which my feet got swapped surgically? And I was like "Darn it, it's gonna take so many of my body's resources to go through having my feet swapped a...

 18.09.2024 Nice day. Slept well, nutrition normal. Deadlift Session 4 today. 4 sets of 3 with 82,5%. Hmm. Thinking 240-250. Yeah, it's a workout I've done at least three times before. Oh well! Gotta make it better. Writing. I think I'm switching back to conventional coffee in a pot as my primary preferred method of doing coffee. As much as I like Moka I believe the taste is worse (well, different) and the amount of caffeine is lesser. Yeah, moka has less coffee in general. I believe, however, that Moka is much better with dark roasts, since the brewing time is so short. But I have been preferring light roasts for a while now. I wanted to have a cold brew for today but forgot about. No biggie. Writing. Thorough, slow. I ended up postponing til Wednesday - today - cause it's Wednesday in the book. The book is fricked up, there's a lot of nasty stuff that tells wayyy too much about me and my evolving psyche. Oh well. At least it's genuine, however genuine my ...

 16.09.2024 We're having a workout today as well, even though yesterday was quite an asskicker. I'm thinking I haven't done enough last time. Not exactly sure what that entails for today. What if I changed things up? Hmm. I think we'll repeat Session 6 but modify it a little? I'm thinking lowered volume on OHP and more bench, if possible. See if my pecs are okay. Also I've been using very low weights in bench in general. I feel like OHP and bench sort of counter each other. It makes some sense... Workout Warmup - fairly minimal, not feeling patient Bench 20 and 50 - pecs feel wrong. Left pec, specifically. On empty bar it was okay, even great, very powerful. But, in simple terms: my left pec feels perpetually stretched, upper pec specifically, the part that is connected to the shoulder. It hurts a little, but enough for me to know it'll hurt a lot on heavy weights. 70 for 15 - partial press, without lowering to the chest, like I used to do for a period. It h...

 14.09.2024 Nice day. Ended up taking melatonin, had some nice sleep. Brain full and wet. I guess I got a bit of an addiction already, if I have problems with sleeping without it. Or perhaps it's just anxiety, but it's very soft. Today we're squatting. No idea what exactly we need to do. Sets of 5 I'm thinking. Workout Warmup - thorough, lower body, feeling pumped already Squat 20 and 70 for 8 Feels difficult, brain pumped. A little too much cranial pressure. 120 for 5 - too many things feel wrong. I'll have to curb my enthusiasm and stick to a light workout for today, very light, in fact. But I can see myself doing something tomorrow. 70 for 10 okay muscle-wise, not okay for joints and connective tissue. And also my left obliques are still strained. It's possible I've gotten used to a skewed bar position and now when I try to keep it in the center that strains my left side. Need some more recovery. 15.09.2024 Very nice day. Sleep and food okay, just okay, w...

 12.09.2024 Nice day. CNS feels surprisingly not too stale. I know my pressing muscles are in a good shape, energy-wise. OHP session 6. 70% for 5 reps and 4 sets of 5 with 77,5%. So, 83 and 93. And in bench we'll go for 112 and 124, or maybe 113 and 125. Workout Warmup - some, upper body, torso, obliques Overhead press 20 and 50 70 for 8 83 for 5 quick warmup 93 for 5 - not too bad, but kinda lazy. It's the opposite situation with DL - here we got difficulty generating effort but little strain on body. 93 for 5 still hard. Hmm. 93 for 5 still hard, but a little easier cause I put more effort. All very strict today. Bench 50 for a few reps - kind of torturous, flesh super stiff - pecs and outer upper pecs, you know, the part that connects to the shoulders. Back cramping a little too. Just need some time to relax... 70 for 8 a little better 100 for 5 okay, I had to stop here. Connective tissue still strained.

 11.09.2024 Feeling decent, nice even, although kind of compressed, no energy peaks. Very decent nutrition. Sleep above average, feeling calm. Deadlift. Ordered groceries yesterday but then realized I forgot coffee, even though I started with it. Ordered coffee. It's actually so much cheaper to order it. Watched "Natural Born Killers" movie last night. I had it in my "to watch list" for a long time. Nice move, but too much camera angling and shaking, just saying. Message a little confusing, but that's realistic in a way. Kind of a fantasy movie, let's be real. It does make you want to live, sort of. Workout Deadlift Session 3 Deadlift 20 70 for 8 120 for 5 - kinda difficult, too relaxed, not fully recovered. But I know better than to judge the workout just by warmup. 160 for 5 overhand 200 for 5 - one kind of okay rep overhand, 4 with straps 230 for 5 - not too bad, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Put the belt on high, pressure in unusual plac...

 09.09.2024 Nice day. It's been a few days without melatonin, but sleep hasn't changed. Gonna do some lightened - but only slightly lightened - OHP and bench today. And OHP is going to be in priority, volume-wise. OHP session 5. Sets of 8 with 67,5%. Hmm. So we're gonna just do 80 and 110 in OHP and bench. And it'll be super easy. Okay then. Workout Warmup - fairly thorough, but not very long Overhead press 20 - 50 70 for 8 feeling awkward 80 for 8 kinda hard because of how light it is - the more light it is the less effort I put it, the harder it is to move the bar! Hilarious humanity. 80 for 8 a little better 80 for 8 super easy, listening to Motorhead, pumped them out like an empty bar 80 for 8 even easier, even though player died. So easy I didn't even have to inhale during the set, only exhaled on reps 6 and 8 xD Bench press 20 - 50 - 70 - I gotta tell you, squat loads up my pecs cause I have to keep em so stretched all the time. 110 for 10 okay Alchestbreach u...

 08.09.2024 I might have to shave before I end up plucking out my fricking mustache. Lovely day today. Sleep mediocre, but I had nice dreams and not much difficulty waking up. I saw Elyse Willems from Funhaus in my dream. Just a little tidbit, hehe. And it's been a couple months since I last revisited their nostalgic content. James Willems is a real lucky man. Anywhomst'aways, it's 11:58 PM and I'm going to go down to my garage and do some moderate mid-high rep squats. Something that's kind of easy actually. Cause I'm going to work out tomorrow as well and I think I have something really heavy, in fact very heavy this coming Wednesday. Workout Warmup - fairly thorough, loosening legs properly Squat 20 - 50 - 100 for 10 130 for 10 that was quick warmup. Throat went real dry and raspy 133 for 10 after a break - lovely, super easy, feels like I'm doing curls with 40 kgs. Wraps underknee cause my knees have been a little too wiggly. And when I say knees I mean t...

 06.09.2024 OHP and bench today. 100 for 3*3 in OHP and 130-135 for 4*3 in bench. Reasonable? Probably not, good enough. Sleep was weird, nutrition slightly above mediocre. Detoxing from external melatonin, it's kinda nice Workout - O H P s e s s i o n 4 Warmup - some, mostly upper body Overhead press 20 - 50 - 70 for a few reps 90 for 3 lovely, very easy 95 for 3 same 98 for 3 100 for 3 lovely, pretty strict - no heaving at this weight Bench 50 and 70 100 for 5 chest and arms feel too tight. They've actually grown! I had to make my grip a couple centimeters wider. 120 for 3 133 for 3 not bad, medium-hard 133 for 3 sets of 3 - okay, chest was starting to feel a little fragile by the end, but overall it was lovely.

 04.09.2024 Nice day. Plans getting a little skewed, but guess what? It's just not a big deal. I got shit in my head, of course. Evil, nasty madness. I want to kill. But I want to kill that deserve it. It comes and goes. But I would so love it. The curse of being a man and a pathetic disgusting bloody animal. Hell, it's better than wanting to kill yourself! Because I was serious about wanting to kill myself and I'm only really half-serious about killing someone else. In other words, I am joking, provoking, shocking. It's another one of these mad rants. Kill this bastard's face, crit his fuckign skull, watching the pieces fucking fly. The particular bastard who hates women, beats and chokes the mother of five kids and he isn't even their father. I wrote about him before. How the hell do I even tolerate this bastard's presence around here? He owes me, me in particular, quite a bit of punches and spilled blood. He ran like a screaming little bitch during our la...

 01.09.2024 I'm just so excited tonight. That's what you get when you get good sleep, extra good even. I am so excited in this giddy, innocent sense, you know? Tomorrow's promising to be an amazing day and I'm loving it. Reality... reality shifts in layers. Also https://web.archive.org/web/20200309211414/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujnAvC4BYMg&gl=US&hl=en 02.09.2024 Nice day overall. Another day of not controlling my sleep very well. Well, you can blame Someguy2000 for his lovely design choices (it's a praise, just so we're clear). Played Russell mod, which is Someguy2000's gentle and subtle self-insert, from what I can tell. Obviously, Someguy's real self-insert is Bobby Bass. I mean, what a motherfucker, he just went ahead and privated all his videos! Did he get a job as a fed or something? Cause that's the only thing that really makes sense. Although I heard he went back to army, or maybe that's just false memory. He's been act...