November 5th - Nice OHP workout, getting it back in shape, rehab work

 05.11.2022

Nice day. Yesterday was nice too. A little low on energy. Couldn't sleep. Played Fallout 4 and got killed so many times (three) trying to do the final quest in the Automatron DLC. Got annoyed and had to stop. Well, that'll make my walkthrough much sweeter. Plus, I put the wrong weapons on Ada (robot companion who wishes to avenge her friends who got killed by the evil robots). I put the random ass "grenade laucnher" from Nuka World robots, cause when I started this Survival playthrough in spring I really wanted to try and do Nuka World early, cause that seemed so hard, like a real challenge. Well, I can tell you I had an unoptimized build and I couldn't do it at level 20. At level 30 - way too easy tho, hehe.

I can't not go. Categorical imperative. I crave a real challenge. besides, I miss hanging out with grown up men. Chris Duffin - a pretty cool powalifta, even if he's a roid abuser - made a video about being a "powerlifting ronin", i.e. training all alone without proper gym bros who are on the same level or higher as you. I reckon this is one of those things - natural brain garbage - that make me seem toxic, aggresive and unhinged to some of my grip friends. But, this is only some random ass baloney as my brain gets overloaded with caffeine. Pain, cortisol. It's waiting for me. I've been challenged. Lost some of the challenges. Won some! Mental fight, fight inside of your mind. Forego survival instict, only fight!

And I'm only having my second coffee. Slep nicely during the day. Wanna have a normal workout today. I'm on the right path. I won't stop. I'm better than they see me. Well, obviously, the way i imagine people seeing me is different from how they actually see me. They won't be able to convey how they feel. Obviously, I can rage up, lift some weights, and seem inpressive. But that's not enough. A child can be like that. Men do serious things. I have to do something serious for once in my life.

I despise serving the Mammon - i.e. slaving on a mindless wage job that you hate. If you love what you do, if you don't judt do it for money - then you probably aren't enslaved my Mammon, internally or externally. Internal enslavement is worse, it makes you look pathetic. I am strong, I must be strong. Challenge, real challenge. I will not stop. My brothers have the same rbain chemistry, I believe. I might be more unhinged, accoprding to my father, who compared me to a mad dog and various other mad animals. Not sure if not a comliment. He himself had similar brain chemistry. My mom has some natural unhingement about her too. By sheer luck, I am born to be a fighter. Coincidence. I don't want to stop, I can't let myself stop. Else piss on my pathetic face. If I stop - I am worse than those other cowards, who did things that are more cowardly.

Speaking about coffee... Having a cheaper one. I figured the small burner on the oven is not enogh for moka, very small flame, I put it on a bigger one. How come I'm so loaded with caffeine today if I abused it on thursday, merely two days ago? I had an octuple asspresso for breakfast. Munched on it and some other food in the train, like a filthy animal, he he.

Screw modern mixing. It's so hecking boring. Screw overcompression. Don't give a shit about "loud mixes/masters". I want my dynamics, I want punchyu sound. If I wanna listen to something loudly I'll rip up the knob. If your music is good then they will do it.

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Jammed a little bit. Nothing too inventive. Came to a curious conclusion about metal grooves as I listened to a midi collection that I have in cakewalk. Not all of them are straightforward, is what I'm saying.

8 PM. Time to go.

Workout

Overhead press

Warmup - not too long

27 for a couple sets

20

50 for 5

70 for 5

90 for 5 nice, strict, only a tiny bit creaky. That's what I like to refer to as "last warmup set" - the hard one.

100 for 5 also nice, very strict, too strict, in fact, due to my additional carefullness for my shoulder. Air feels a little too abrasive. Back feels a little strained too. Out of OHP shape. Well, I won't be, after today.

105 for 4 - okay, tempo was alright, back wasn't stiff enough.

Push press

20

50 - 3 sets of 5, trying to balance it correctly

Overhead press

50 - 3 or 4 sets of 5

Front squat, arms in front

20 for 5

40 - 3 sets of 5

60 for 5

70 - 1 or 2 sets of 5 - feels great, hip feels almost okay.

That's about it. Feeling nice and intense (CNS wise). Nutrition getting better. BW was less than 108 earlier today.

Shoulder hurts a bit after playing with my brother. I hope it's all temporary. I need to find a proper way to sleep. Perhaps I should have a hot shower to relax my muscles. My immune system might not be ready for it though.

Of course, it's not always in your interests to relax your muscles. Hot shower will make you weaker, you know. Slightly.

You know, I'd reather be horifically musclebound than full off unnecessary pain (from stretching). Thankfully, neither of them are a choice.

Bicep curls - a variation that loads external rotators

2 kg dumbbells - 1 set

That's about it. Played Fallout 4. Forgetting that you're in Survival mode can make you lose a lot of time xD