May 14th - DL fail, rehab

 13.05.2026

Yesterday was a fun day, writing-wise. Have I mentioned I've been sleeping in the other direction on the bed, and that has deepened my sleep immensely? It's kinda crazy. Although it does feel pretty uneven.

I had a lot of fun writing yesterday. I wrote close to three thousand words and realized that this former chapter 5 needs to be broken up again! How crazy.

14.05.2026

"You guys wanna share interesting anecdotes about your WIP and your method? I've been wanting to talk about some things for a long time but something's been holding me back.

You know how if you freeze a smooth jar of water below 0 degrees celcius it stays liquid, but if you shake it, or if there's a tiny dent in the surface then it freezes immediately? That's I imagine every time I'm mid-process and I start to lag and get confused.

I have a bunch of little ideas of how I deal with this. Just whip myself to pick up the pace back to normal. I use a wordweb app and press a "random word" button"

And then I had to stop and Control+X the message into here cause that "something" stopped me again. Obviously, I'm afraid to look - and sound - like a fool.

I've been kind of dreadfully bored, empty-headed. Not to a complete degree, but kinda close.

I wanna deadlift today. It'll be sets of 2+2. Maybe I'll randomly do a set of 4 in between them all, just to see if I can or is the "break" too much of a crutch for me.

I think 260 should not be too heavy. The three day "rest" of agony might have allowed me more time to recover.

***

I enjoyed reading "The Big Sleep". It gets really interesting in the middle. And then I'll watch the movie and it'll be even more interesting, to compare the two and what they cut and changed!

I had one really nice conventional arabica 35/420 and one cup of instant coffee. I need to get to my DLs cause it's late again.

I wanna write but I don't have that "crystallization" moment about something, a shadowy character who was important in absolutely all of the versions but he needs to be deeper in this new version.

Workout

Deadlift

20 for 20

70 for 12

120 for 8

160 for 4

203 for a bunch of lame DOHG reps - most above knees though!

233 for 4 kinda super lame - three reps with a really lazy mix grip and failed 4th rep cause it slid out, that bummed me out and I was about to stop and just make this the working weight but my hands picked up the straps and I did a really nice 4th rep. Keep in mind I have internal conflict about how much overall damage my little illness did to me and how intense I should be today.

243 for 2 and 253 for 2 - kinda really slow but it felt good.

250 for 4 - not satisfied with myself. Might have to accept the fact that I'm not in shape today and I'm getting it back today. Just have to stay steady.

250 for 3 and two failed reps - well, well, well, who could have predicted this... Only a person who knows 2x2 equals 4, perhaps. So I guess I am not exactly in shape after my illness. C'est la vie!

Thankfully, I just can't generate effort, the weights don't feel heavy. My energy and my CNS got depleted. Everything else is in place, more or less. And I'll be much better next time.

I should have considered having a "preparatory" session for each exercise, including today lol.

Unloaded the plates. Skin feels like paper, not great.

One legged DL, lowering the bar under knee, wide grip - 10 reps each leg

This bar, man, it's a mess. Today I peeled off the little stickers I had on top ever since I discovered that it's unevenly marked.

Overhead press - I used the middle marking to stand under it and raised my arms. I did two sets of 30 just feeling it. I THINK this bar taught me to press with way less weight on my RIGHT SIDE. It's one of my possible issues.

I will need to think more on this.

One legged DL

16 kg kettlebell - 6 sets of 10 each leg, alternating legs on 5

I need to figure out my body. Simply focus on finding out as much as I can about my muscle balance.

On the first set I held it with both hands, on the second I held it from the side I was lifting with - a little easier. Right leg has problems, but it's doing it almost well.

I think one legged DLs might be a good choice. But also I really need to go one ahead and try to do a lot more walking somehow.

I know it's a hard thing though, but I am also considering taking a break from heavy DLs after all. I need to try and recover my left hip, as well as my right foot.

Kneeling foot stretches - knees on pillow, feet on a towel - done 3 sets overall.
A little scary, just somehow quite wary of snapping something. I need to un-club my right foot. So I'm stretching the big toe tendon on top of the foot, and kneeling with the outward foot rotation.

Here's the image (from https://www.joionline.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/foot-muscles-and-tendons-e1666786404375.jpg)

Extensor digitorum brevis of my big toe. Now I'll do some more, the second set.

When I was a kid, I used to be able to sit on the floor with my legs in a W-shape (upper middle part being my pelvis). So I was trying to do something similar to it. It's painful, scary and it's strangely nostalgic, doing this, discovering self, a peculiar sense of joy.

Third set was really intense, really painful in some moments - because I found some angles that are safer and allow for more muscular flexion rather than just stretching. I'm doing stretching both standing on the balls of my feet but mostly with soles up, full kneel.