April 25th - The loveliest night of Deadlifts, struggle and triumph, Praise to our Lord! 😀

 25.04.2026

Today I finally will write. Kind of a weird day! Slept little, woke up not sleepy, gave a lesson, ate - a turkey chop then half a bowl of semolina porridge, thick like a pudding. Then I fell asleep again and had weird, almost traumatic dreams that make my flesh tense, but also were strangely entertaining in a way. Woke up a little annoyed. My mother, she pains me! Memories, the fact that she is not responsible for what she does - why? Are women chaos? I know I am chaos, but I am a destructive form of chaos; that is why I am not a man but an animal with balls. My spirit is the one of a man, sure; he is weak even if he pulls at the reigns, he doesn't want me to hurt myself.

So, I woke up and smelled something like gas - made me angry. Why, so much pain, through so many years, why can't it stop? You should see a little artwork I drew either in 2022 or 2023 - hidden beside my shelf. It's bad but I tried to express something with it.

Annoyed massively because I received two random calls and assumed I AGAIN got a delivery moved to one day early - I reckon if they did it AGAIN I'd want to just tell them they did not deliver me nothing, since I picked the day and asked to call me! But no, the calls were random.

Pain, pain, pain - not as much as there used to be, but it's resurfaced, how unpleasant! Don't want to do it. I WILL finish chapter 4 rewrite 4 - possibly today. It will be told like it happened.

I finished my coffee. That Lavazza that got me insane. 30/390 - one to thirteen. Tastes I guess slightly above average - which is good. It's not making me insane.

It's late. Not a big deal. The DL workout today won't take too long.

Last session was hard but not fatiguing. I'm still not sure, wondering. I kinda wanna just actually try combining different ranges in one workout. What if I started at 200 for 10, then 230 for 8, then 240 and maybe more for 6? Could be hard!

I'm breaking through, man. My psyche is growing stronger.

***

I wanna workout right now. Would have to skip my reading! But I got a couple ideas. I'll get a couple news books tomorrow, sheesh. More money than ever spent on books and clothing, I'm a basic bitch lol. Well they're all foreign language books and all the clothing is fit for service, so that's something.

I'm unreasonably obsessed with Kryptek Typhon / Python camo pattern, if you can call it that. Looks so cool!

My foot's been feeling a little tender. I've been working on one leg balance last night, little one-legged DLs and quarter squats. Well tonight it's two legged DL!

I shall put on my clothing AND I will enjoy a Booth Tarkington audiobook I haven't finished in years lol. I enjoy both listening to audio and reading at the same time - the only real way I can focus on text while it's on a screen and not in a book!

Workout

Deadlift

20 for 20

70 for 12

120 for 8

160 for 8

200 - a very long OHG (DOH) set, if you can call it that. Five okay reps, three close to okay - above the knee or a good lockout but dropped - and a bunch more half-reps - up to knees but not past. Figuring out that darn DOH grip!

230 for 8 - much more satisfied here! I got a GRIP PR - 4 reps with hook grip and 4 more with reverse mixed grip!

Also, before 200 I very casually squeezed my dynamometer and got 84 on right; and 80 on left - although with the left I put in a tiny bit more effort lol. I'll get my CoCks back in order!

260 for 6 - not bad, each rep decent although the whole set took some time - I did three, rested, two, prayed for one more and ope, I did it - Hallelujah! Guess what? I think this might just be a 2 kg PR in rage of six 😁

And I'm not done. I finally wrote, finished the gym scenes in my chapter 4 rewrite 4 (ch4rw4) - and I think I wanna write another scene, a final one. This chapter was chapter 3 in previous versions.

Been sort of compulsively buying video games. Bought Wasteland 2, then I bought Ostranauts and a really cozy-looking new game about managing an Alpine hotel, just released. "Above The Snow". Maybe I'll play it tonight! And I did start playing Wasteland 2 - very interesting, a simple kind of game I really missed.

BUT I am not done; hilarious I am, triumph in humor and humility.

260 - 265 - 275 - feels nice! A tri-set, all one after another, all reps rapid and powerful. Hallelujah! 😀

I danced and lauded and sung praise to our Lord as I continued my literal ascetics.

From here, singles -

230 - 200 - 160 high pull rather unnecessary 😁 - 120 same - 70 clean - the right sleeve almost slid off as it had been unscrewed by forward rolling! - final 20 for 1

All these reps - the come-off - I did in straps, a promise to my flesh, even the bar itself - respect yourself, parts of yourself, and they will love you back!

Overhead press - long range (from the pecs), full upper back lockout (but not 180), hips bouncing back and forth

20 for 30 - feels good!

25+25 kg rubber plates pinching - air holds each hand, swings with both hands (holding a pair of 25s together)

I tried to lift them up, just pinch them like I used but I think I'm out. Definitely loaded my grip today!

I also promise to myself I shall not do any excessive stretching / rehab through the rest of the night.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah! 😀☦

***

Squeezed a dynamometer casually - got 78 left and 80 right; put in some effort though. I think if I get back in shape I could do a hundred easily enough. BUT today I must rest - skin is sticky with pore-seeping blood.

RPotD - 
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:ISS013-E-21883_-_View_of_British_Columbia.jpg

Haven't had that one in a while!