Tuesday, January 20th - Nice DL, microcycle reset, rep PR

 20.01.2025

I'm gonna deadlift today. I really **need** to write. Slept mediocre, feeling nervous, ate nice.

Did I mention I finished reading Huckleberry Finn? Feeling sad and wistful that it ended. Got some other books I'd like to read.

A body is tricky beast. I'm realizing I should be grateful for my Squat technique that I have. Have you noticed, by the way, how I've accidentally picked up sort of a german-style capitalization habit? Single exercises like "Squat" when it's a noun, days of the week, months, seasons. It's an interesting habit that makes a lot of unconscious sense.

I've been feeling strangely negative. I talked about it. It should dissipate after January. Unconscious feeling of wrongness. I came to conclude that I'm better of just praying that trying to pick at it, understand what's wrong. But I have to yield - it's a feeling injustice, of how I've been wronged by so many people throughout my life and I just let them cause I don't care to try to make things right to punish them (with some very rare exceptions, of course). And there's internal conflict when you've been done wrong and good by some people. A feeling of inadequacy on top - a pretty valid one, heh. Desire for a different reality. But I keep being reminded, truly Thank God, that I, in my current iteration, is a pretty capable and wisely confident individual. I still feel a large degree of stubborn stupidity and youthful, wild, energetic impulsiveness in me - but they're both tampered by what I've become, a nicer version of me. There is a reason you DO things - as well as DON'T.

"Tampered" must be a portmanteau of tempered and tampted, lol. Not editing it out - it's a little quirk that a lot of people have, combining words. But this one is not stupid.

Well, no, "tamping" is actually a word, synonymous with "to tamp". Funny. It's funny. No, wait - tamper is a noun, and tamp is a verb. Hm.

And also, somehow I forgot the phrase "evidence tampering", heh. Yes, "to tamper" is also a verb. Here, come look at my internal process. It's very interesting.

I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the creativity. Thinking about stuff, a lot of stuff. Not just summoning thinking, not just reminding myself - it's happening. Hallelujah! Please help me 🥺🙏

***

I'm deadlifting today. Weird numbers planned.

Workout

Warmup - putting on deadlifting clothing

Deadlift

20 - 70 - 120 - 160

200 for 8 - I decided it's okay to count it as 8 overall - four and a half OHG, three reverse mixed grip

230 for 8 - now that was a very interesting set. I did two HOOK GRIP reps - very painful, mostly for calluses. Two reverse mixed grip reps. Two normal mixed grip reps. And two in straps. It was a lot of fun. I focused on really trying to add some SPEED into these last two reps but it was kinda slow, not sure why 😁

240 for 8 - very nice! I did all reps nice and quick, although I had to change setup in between some reps, and charge some "humping" power for the final reps; they all were really nice, given that it's a rep set. Writing, writing a gym scene - I do have something today. Need to remind myself to go back to previous gym scenes in the story - somehow, to me, they're not quite as memorable. Probably because they're sort of detached from the main "plot" if you call it that, heh.

250 for 8 - nice! 😀 It's a 5 kg PR in the 8 rep range. I almost failed due to my lacking cardio, cause I did 7 and stood up for a breather. It was mentally hard but the song was nearing an end so I to go ahead and do it, one smooth but slightly ugly looking rep, legs going straight early, right side lower - not a big deal though, of course.

260 for 2 - nice and casual, loose belt

260 for 2 - longer break before this one, ended up kinda messy cause I clicked my teeth, a chipped old tooth with an exposed bit of nerve 😁 I need a mouthguard like Brian Shaw, I have needed it for a long time, especially now that I'm incorporating my facial movements into DL. Otherwise nice and easy, although skin is kinda unhappy even in straps.

260 for 2 - nice, a very decent pair of reps. Unloaded the plates quickly. No grip today - my skin is nicely abused with that gymnastic old chalk I have, it's pretty bad. It does dry up my skin, yes, that it does, so overall it's nice - but it's just too fine, no structure. It needs to be a brick, or liquid, that is much better.

Writing. Going back in time to read over chapter 9 - the second training-focused chapter. My style sure has changed! It kinda feels way more homogenous now, less inventive. Well, slightly less. I'm a proper quirk chungus; as a millennial, I just **gotta** be unique, oh so unique. Well, I can't stop it, so there's that. To be frank, I'm not trying to be unique, so I don't understand why I'm apparently frustrated with my perceived uniqueness. Well, congratulation, I got myself confused, cause I'm listening to Barbarity and the playlist ended and there's one song that got in there on accident (Pathology - Hieroglyphs on Cement Walls - also a fun oldschool DM song, heh). Yeah, I'm enjoying myself, grooving. I think I'll be doing sets of 6 next time... That'll be a Sunday. Huh. I wish more days of the week were either Mondays, Wednesdays or Saturdays. But no, only 60%. It's just that I happen to train somewhat better on these days, dunno why! Maybe I'm wrong lol.

Wrote a nice scene. Feels good. Man, it was such a casual workout, wasn't it? Inb4 I don't lose my mind and go enraged on DL days anymore 😁 That's what DLing 298 did to me, I guess, heh.

RPotD - Vaccinium shikokianum,Mt. Iide, Fukushima pref., Japan