October 08-09, Sunday and Monday - Bench, PP, small PR, nice Olympic style Squat

 21.03.2025

I just wanna write random shit, just let me pour out. I think - obviously I'm gonna be "jinxing" it by saying it (psychologically) - I think I might have gotten myself a relatively normal sleeping schedule over the last week. It was horrible in the second half of the last week, and now it's good. On Wednesday I stayed up til 6 writing, showered and went to bed, it was okay. Yesterday I wanted to stay up and write, but I just couldn't I felt tired. Didn't like it! Ended up falling asleep in socks and room clothing, just not bothering. Haven't had melatonin in a month or more, I think! Maybe that's the thing. Or maybe it's cause I stopped playing since my Honour mode in BG3 got bonked by that Lae'zel bug (her being dead but not officially, just stuck!); as I told before, I tried to resurrect her with a mod but it didn't help and Withers acted like she was alive... Butthurt! And even though I reloaded a save, for that exact reason - cause the game is buggy - I don't wanna play actually. Now that I'm saying it, I do wanna play it. Today's a proper rest day; I'm not returning or trying to train every day, even light session. But you gotta stay active, if you're gonna spend your rest day too passively it's gonna be bad for you. I played guitar a little, practiced some old passages from As Yggdrasil, actually came up with a lovely sounding aggressive and melodic and also very basic riff... My strings are really old, stiff, don't vibrate too much. There's some charm to that as well. I knocked two of my picks onto the floor; managed to fish one out from under the shelf, ended up washing the floor in my room and the stairs, got covered in dust quite stupidly so, might be on the verge of aggravating my ever-irritated nose again... I woke up today cause that clump of snot in my throat, the one that seems to gather itself when I sleep, it actually fucking started to choke me and I had to immediately get up and get some tea to melt it 😂 Not the most pleasant of experiences. I'm not supposed to have coffees today, but after all that... Listening to Iron Jaws British speed/thrash metal - "Guilty Of Ignorance" - "... no merry men to break our chains!" UK is such a pathetic fascist totalitarian state it's ridiculous... And they still have a fucking king, an unwilling pawn in the pocket of TPTB (the powers that be, a.k.a T.H.E.Y)... I feel really sorry for them. US isn't that much better, frankly... Honestly, there's barely a country, a bureaucratic system around the world anywhere that truly permits any kind of freedom 😂 And when I say freedom I'm not talking about contentious things, things that a lot of people would consider a crime or a harmful thing - I'm talking about basic things like speaking in private, or making a joke, or walking in the street with your phone out - those things, those basic things that constitute freedom! Europe got a natural 'right to roam' - US does too, provided you're fast enough 😂 Fuck all of them whoevers think they can just fucking have, like, a way too much land, not even bothering to fence it, and then riding out in their technical to hunt down a poor fucking hobo who decided to camp under a bush 😂 Fuck them, but I do support their right to own land... This particular part, it's more of a cultural issue! I'm honestly surprised US doesn't have more fences - I would absolutely not be able to live in a paper house just by the road, knowing that I can be run the fuck over in my sleep during a traffic accident in a suburbia... Crazy shit, honestly, that whole fucking suburbia BS. Well, it was profitable to someeone! Sim City ass development 😂 I'm really overdoing it with fucking smilies, ain't I? Just good ol' stream of consciousness, if whatever I have in that ol bone can be called that 😁 Looks like I'm drawing some of geometric figures with the smileys throughout the text! Grok suggests I should look into CIA involvement in newly released JFK files... It's sort of obvious they did it and the guy with the pew-pew was a fucking patsy. Someguy, I remember suddenly, he made a humorous rant about it, it's somewhere in the clips... Someguy2000. What I wanna know is Israel's involvement. And that fucking Grok seems to be taking its time! "Something went wrong, please try again." Well, ain't that a joke, heh heh. Why are you suggesting I should look into it then? Guess what, I'll do it again. But yeah, it's clearly overload, the whole ass twitter is overload. X is such a cumbersome name! I sort of like it, I like how everyone hates it so much, heh heh. Twitter/tweeking is obviously better to use in speech. There's something else I wanted to talk about... Dust. I sprayed some of that nasal hydrating spray in my nose, please pray for me cause I don't wanna have my shit aggravated even more 😁 You know, I've been thinking - my maternal aunt's husband, he's a proper, let's just say, an H-word. Been threatening my mother that one time after meeting me, what a fucking H-word, frankly. He oughta get deported and bus-ified if he's such a patriot 😁 Leeching money of my poor ol' fuckin mom cause she got mental complexed about how things should be... Not willing to explain further. I actually like my mom today. The burdens, all that, it doesn't press down me. We had a good talk about random shit yesterday. We used to be radically opposed on our opinion on vaccinations and all that bullshit, now we're not so much, cause I just DON'T trust people that want my fucking obedience without explaining anything to me. Thankfully, here, in the ol' Motherland, we didn't have no fucking forced vaccinations, vaccine passports and all that... In fact, in 2021 there were notifications that 'cvoid is over, you can taek off da maske'! Heh heh. And further west the power-hungry bureaucrats, really, really love to tighten the screws, make em kneel, make the tax cattle obey! Obey, obey now, no questioning! UK is the worst in that regard. Germany - heed my word, I tell ya - Germans are hding their true colors; they are not penitent. If there's ever gonna be a WW3 they will be the ones to start it! The rule of three, you know 😏 I'm TOTALLY not joking and I'm DEFINITELY being DEADLY fucking serious about EVERYTHING I say... Heh heh heh. You have to be one the same wave with me understand when I'm being serious and not... If you got estrogenated fem soy and/or tasty lickable boots on your mind we ain't vibing 😁 I'm just fuckign ranting, I'm writing random shit and I'm not even planning to train today! There was something else I wanted to talk about, but I think it might be time for a pause. I think I'll tag this post with 'psychology' and 'life', heh. Ah yeah, I remember actually - also, I'm definitely not breaking this text into paragraphs, hehe - I've been on Reddit, looking at all these reet aah subs that are like "rate me". Brush, it's fucking cringe, rating people, you know? I just cann't come across an ugly bitch and tell her 'ew, 1/10'. It just feels so wrong, so... Dehumanizing! It just doesn't feel right. Where is the soul in all that? But still though, you know, when you post your fucking tits and there's a bunch of simps jerking off in the comments, spamming '10/10 would lick that sweet honeypot all day' that oughta boost how you feel, eh? And that is also pathetic, so... wordly. So many things I wanna talk about, about how I just don't give a fuck about how I've been scammed a large sum and I just can't be bothered to try and get back through some kinda lawsuit - cause they did steal a lot. I'm dumb, yes, I'm butthurt, and I'm way too passive, I just can't be fucking arsed to do any kind of shit I'm not really interested in... I wanna say "forgive them for they don't know what they do" but it's also a little disingenuous, isn't it? And my mom's gotten scammed by random guy she hired to fucking build a little terrace - she just gave him money like she used to do with so many workers, builders before - go and fucking buy the materials - and he's just scamming her, he fucking made a excel print and signed it himself... Clearly, the guy's deep in debts himself, but ain't that a shame? Just never trust any fucking smiling cunt who anything at all from you, that's my advice. They want your fucking blood, that's what they fucking want, truly God damned vampires... Now they DO know what they do. God protect us, protect the innocent and naive me with silly doodoo head! Please, save from being scammed, give me a +10 to mental saves when they come after me... I'm a silly barbarian with 20 STR and 8 in INT.