February 14th - Light workout, talking about writing and music

 14.02.2025

Last night I actually started another playthrough of BG3, finally in Honor mode. I'm kinda rushing through it, not powergaming and all that. I have an idea about playing all barbarians, heh. And all boys, cause girls in that game get you too horny lol. All about romance and personal trauma and all that; plus I'll be less racist for bringing Willy who'll be less annoying to paly as cause he won't be a warlock in this playthrough.

Really satisfied with some of my rewriting work. Various AIs are now playing the role of the editor for me, rather that the writer or the gamemaster. It all started with me wanting to play a form of DnD - basically AI Dungeon - outside of AI Dungeon (cause it sucks and still does, sadly). It's the era of AI. I was just playing, enjoying myself, letting my creativity as a player or 'art director' flow. George Lucas didn't write episodes V and VI, did you know that? But he did write a general outline; 'based on the short story by him'. And the actors embodied the characters, also contributing to the process. Movies are a pretty complex form of media. And now, for quite a while now, I've been forcing various LLMs to adhere more and more to my specific prompts, layering directions upon directions. Sure, Claude 3.5 is a capable, concise writer. If I wanted to learn how to cut my own psyche with Occam's razor, I'd use it more. It was quite a staple for a while now. RN Gemini is winning cause it's free; same as Deepseek. ChatGPT - in this specific moment in history - lowkey sucks ass. Too polished, too corporate, too soulless. Same as Grok, but they've been makin Grok try so hard to be hip it's endearing, in a cringe way. Yeah, that's how I rate them - as a user. OpenAI is pushing boundaries with the reasoning systems, but it seems they're not intending to scale up much past what the original GPT4 was. And they said GPT5 won't be a model but a 'system of service' - combining all sorts of models and stuff like that. Well, I know someone is working on a powerful model that will blow our minds without having to resort to 'reasoning'. And then when it does it'll be even smarter. All that 'reasoning' stuff is basically changing the user's prompt to make it make sense to the model, you know? Cause they have their own way of thinking, thus eliminating miscomprehension that is common between humans.

This isn't exactly what I wanted to talk about. I just wanna cope&shill about how I'm more of a real author/writer now even though I still use a variety of LLMs to help me, heh heh heh. Yeah, cause I do write a lot of stuff in the prompt, and I'm quite aware that I suck in *most* ways as an author/writer; but now, unlike in the past, the proportion of what I write - in volume! - to the output I receive is about 1 to 1. If I use Claude 3.5 it's 1 to 0.3 lol (it's using Occam's razor to cut away all autism from my writing!)
And occasionally it's 2 to 1 cause of how much stuff I have there in my overspecifying head. I need to be precise and thus I'm not concise, hehehe. Precision isn't quite needed in belle tristesse. And it's not it; it's my own genre of *pre-media*, as I figured. It has most in common with a silly diary.

When I read a normal book for a while I end up naturally emulating the book's speech for some time, both in my own speech as well as in writing. I'm not great in writing dialogues; I'm capable, but I fear most of my characters end up sounding the same... At least after the first draft. I have a super extensive lore encyclopedia that allows me - and the LLMs - to keep up with all the smaller details; over a hundred pages (although not packed very tight); and some stuff is repetitive and redundant.

I always wanted an app like Musescore. In 2018 I searched for it - something that allows me not just write notation and then listen to music! And I found it, good ol and janky Musescore 2. It was the most amazing time for me, 2019 and 2020. Just playing Midi music, learning about basic and not-too-basic music concepts until they finally started to click; I really had to cut through the fog, through the haze of unknowingness before music theory started to make sense in an articulable way. In 2020 I started to learn guitar; bass followed, then my own vocals. I released Steel Of My Spear; a bit of my *chedevre*, heh heh heh. You know why I'm laughing, but I don't allow you to laugh - true expression, sincere notions of life and resilience and familial bonds expressed in the song with basic lyrics and structure... As well as silly MIDI drums and percussion. Then, in August, I started to play drums. That was difficult, but I got better and better; my magnum opus in drumming has to be As Yggdrasil. Since then, my skills barely improved and I think I might have not drummed for over a year at this point; what a shame!

It started with basics in my childhood, listening and learning, hating going to the music school for a year. A long time; learning to enjoy music, cause music school lowkey made me hate it. Growing up changed my outlook; about a decade later - Musescore discovered! Still, that was training steps, for over a year, before I could learn to start playing music for real. And now we're here, still in dire need of improvement - both in writing and in playing. Gotta clean up the darn rug and put it back in the music room. When I was gone that whole room ended up a mess. And also I have to train today. Let's get to it... Watching Severance s2e5. It's all starting to fall apart in there, secrets uncovered - but not all! Still, so many questions. Will I be able to do this in my book? Probably. In fact, that is the exact thing I stopped on last time I wrote NEW stuff (rather than rewriting); it was over a month ago, and since then I've been really focused on rewriting, replacing nothingness with something meaningful and *written by me*, me specifically.

Workout

Warmup - some

Overhead press

20 and 40

50 for 8

70 - 2 sets of 5

I decided I'm gonna keep it light today and go heavy tomorrow. Every day training is not possible the way I envision it. It's normal to have 3-5 days of rest between heavier sessions. Feel like I'm saying something obvious but it might not be.

Squat

Warmup - typical squat stretches, thigh squeezers, thigh rotations

50 - 70 - 90 - 100 for 5

It felt very nice. I stayed downstairs and reflected on the squat and how it feels. I remembered the technique and experimented with it; I have a lot of different sets of techniques (most of which are not right, obviously). But it's cool to feel new things, even if you're really searching for the old things while thinking you're gonna find something truly new. From heel to middle of the foot (in hole) to heel again; that's the squat cue I need to remember, to focus on. Everything else is alright. Also, I am super flexible and I can sit on the port steps without feeling any tightness in muscle whatsoever. I can do a prolonged flamingo pose too, not that I need it for anything, but it is a check of flexibility of your hamstring. And also a check of sweatiness of your foot, heh.

Tomorrow I will do more. I'm glad my body adapted to manage caffeine differently than it used it. Older!

Alright, something positive to finish on... That episode 5 of season 2 of Severance is pretty slow. That show is nice, similar to Westworld season 1; it makes me ask a lot of questions about reality. Westworld season 1 was brilliant. That's the price we have to pay for having brilliant thing; Hollywood will take them and corrupt them for lulz and negative profit.