October 10th, Thursday - Nice OHP, heavy bag

 10.10.2024

Today it's OHP after all.

Workout

Warmup - pretty thorough, upper body and opening up hips with kneeling squats

Overhead press

20 - 50 - 70

90 for 3 okay

100 for 3 okay, curiously unbalanced. Using wrist wraps cause I hurt my wrist on Monday, just my fault.

100 for 3 super easy, removed the wraps

100 for 3 same, listening to Manowar. Weird feeling at first cause it felt like I "popped" my left toe... This body is one temple of wonders. Well, what really happened I think is that I automatically pulled up my toe and it just clicked in the tight toebox of my weightlifting shoes. By the way, here's some lifting wisdom I haven't repeated in a while - you gotta wear heeled shoes for OHP, well, at least if you have proportions same as mine. If you have a super short torso you might not really need them, but they still will be beneficial. Why? So your point of 'strain' moves forward, from your back to your pelvis. It doesn't happen automatically, mind you! You need to do it consciously. Make your body into a spring, or rather some kind of bendy table leg that can shoot up a bowl full of cream and cream all the guests' faces just cause you pushed it down into the ground, he he. It sounds a little too fantastical to be real, doesn't it? Well, just install a spring instead of a table leg and then you'll be able to do it.

100 for 8 - well, those were really bad reps, that's on me for trying to cheese it. The last rep was good, so that's something. I've gone too far trying to push it like that and it's time to dial it down.

70 for 15 very strict, feels nice

20 for 15 same, focusing on not slacking, also adding speed since it's a very light. But I don't think I could have been doing it very explosively at this point due to fatigue.

Body feels good. I think I figured out a little tidbit about myself - I used to think that the fact that I have an uneven bed is a problem, so I put a half of the thick bedsheet under the right side. But last night I figured it actually might feel a little too tight and I think it helped. there's very little difference between left and right side of my body, elevation wise now. But when I had the sheet under it then the right side was higher. It feels so strangely comfortable for me to sleep on my left side but it's usually followed by quick pain. I think I didn't have that tonight. Man, it must be so annoying reading about pain all the time nowadays. Well, thank God my OHP is going well.

Right now I have kinda weird feelings around my body, particularly my spinal erectors - the left one is much more tense, much more strained. It's not pain mind you, just the pump, the fairly normal results of working with a heavy weight. Strain, tension. But not pain!

Got some sawdust in my nose throat immediately after carrying the heavy punching bag about five steps... Darn this thing. Pretty sure it gave me angina almost three years ago now. Two years and roughly eleven months. But I wanna punch it a little, just a little, even though my right wrist is hurt.

I got bad news about my family. My mom is being let's say very silly and living in some friends' apartment in Turkey right now, kinda like a vacation. And her abusive piece of shit current husband with her. Supposedly he fell and injured his back or something. Now my little sister is writing me about how she wants me to restart that whole litigation about how he poured boiling water and broke my leg - unwillingly but factually, I have to add. It was the result of his actions, just like someone falling and cracking their head is a result of a bully pushing them. It happened in early 2019. So it's been too long, I suspect. Will mom listen to reason? I doubt that. I guess we'll just have to have a serious talk with her and my little brother. She wants to suffer, she literally said that she wants to suffer to receive a greater reward in heavens. But she's dragging down our whole family with her, particularly my little brother. If he grows up fucked up and violent - or a perpetual victim like yours truly (jk, perhaps, perhaps not) - then I'll have to say it's her fault. Very direct fault, and I'll have to inform her of that. And I think there's no point in postponing scaring the bastard just a little bit and having a serious talk with him. Not necessarily violence, not necessarily at all! I know he'll shit his pants if he sees me. And we'll see if he's actually crippled or not - from his reaction. I'm pretty he has a habit of faking his injuries, like in early 2018 when he attacked both my sisters. I'd like to not involve CPS since my little brother is living with me and my younger brother rather than with that particular bastard in that hole (the other house mom built and I helped to build for free - I was placing the gosh darn metal beams for the floors there, you know!). He really lives like a masssive shitter, a pig. I've been there - on the ground floor - and it's completely ruined and unlivable. I have a suspicion he shat up one cellar and moved into the other place - our third garage (which is actually our banquet hall, we celebrated mom's birthday there this Summer shortly after I returned from war). Mom wanted to let two relatives of a wounded veteran visiting him in a nearby hospital to stay there and asked me to check on this place - that's what happened on Monday, it contributed to my rager. I found the long lost large pot COMPLETELY covered in dead flies! And a really moldy large pan. I had to carry it on fully outstretched arms, face turned. Afraid to inhale mold. And that was there, fucking completely shat up space same as ground floor in the other house. There's wayy too much of our stuff there, particularly my childhood books. So, I'm thinking, I'll have a serious, threatening talk with him. I don't know what I'll tell him - to get out or to behave? Or will I succumb to violence? Or will I fall and get injured and killed by this fag, cause it can happen? Never mind the chance, it can. He is a healthy enough man in his 40s and jsut cause I'm strong doesn't mean I'm great at fighting. I might have been a better fighter/boxer in my teen years, I was very fast with my feet and hands. Now I'm an old lumbering creature, a pile of twisted hard meat. Well, at least it's something, he he. Yes, especially my current injury - it's really not conducive to twisting side-movements. That's why I'm gonna go super light... If I wasn't wearing an expensive body suit I'd have done some squats instead, but we'll do that too.

Did some punching work with the heavy bag. It's not bag, nothing too negative. Really gotta be careful not to hurt my hand and forearm. I do. When I was younger I thought I didn't and then I hurt myself doing some most basic stuff. Now I'm older and smarter. However, I might not be. My nose got full of this sawdust again - and it is dust, small one - I got some random spray which I only now read is supposed to be a decongestant. So, I'm silly for using some medicine so randomly. However, I kinda hope that after I'm done spitting I'll have less sawdust in my airways than I would have otherwise.

Nice. I think our injury is healing.

That enneagram stuff I was talking about... I couldn't express it right, I was a tiny bit jumbled. I'm gonna try my best now, cause today I'm not jumbled, not really tired (right after I'm done with my workout and going through some stretches/cooldowns you could call em), had one conventional double-ground Arabica brew (normal pot brew, letting it sit in a cooling water without it having ever reached 100 degrees - so it's not burnt). Giving a little too many details... Here's what I was trying to express - that enneagram stuff, it's not science, but it is a facet, a view. It's a flexible thing, it's just that we like to think in rigid terms and apply only the most basic math to psychology, meanwhile psychology is one of the sciences where laws of physics get circumvented more often than not, hehe. It's a joke. Although some people do suppose that superposition in our neurons allows for freedom of will... I almost said 'free speech', hehe. To quickly debunk an argument that annoys me - just because of part of you is responsible for some of your decisions doesn't mean you're not responsible, capisce? I doubt a lot of people stated that freedom of will is encapsulated *strictly* in that knife-point balance that is the process of consciousness. I wish I could explain it better; I believe science needs to be more down to earth and less stiffy-stuffy. That one guy who said 'if I could explain it in two minutes it wouldn't be worth a nobel prize' (or whatever the prize was)? Absolute shame. Just shame on that guy, even if he is a good scientist - cause he makes all scientists look really, really bad. And there are more scientists who wanna use science to get power, or better yet, not science, but their mere status as a scientist. It would be great if instead of scientists we could have strictly philosophers doing science, not the other way around. Although, of course, philosophers, sadly, do the same, and manipulate their knowledge to get power, money and status. And yes, it is, it so is shameful. Unless - and only then - they do not succumb to these vices and actually do something good with their influence, which is rare. So, about that enneagram. It's kind of a new age stuff. Kitchen psychology. But it is still a reflection of something real - of a human soul. The way that people stick to it so much, get so obsessed with it, and with many other kitchen-esque teaching about personality types - they do it cause they vibe with these teachings. 'Vibe' is no longer a neologism; the word is too appropriate not to use in a context like this. Maybe it's because I'm a musician and I see that everything moves and changes. movement and change are sort of synonymous, aren't they? Everything that moves changes, and everything that changes does so by moving - there are no exceptions that I can think of. But I'd love to hear someone suggest an exception, I'd find it mighty interesting. It has to not be an abstract concept, however.

Localscriptman, that's the guy I was watching. He hasn't made videos about each type. That morning, early Tuesday morning, when I let the relatives of the wounded veteran into another room - NOT the shat up one - I ended up watching HIS videos and getting overstimulated thinking about myself and my characters. He hasn't made videos about each enneagram. Just in case you're curious, I've got a feeling I'm somewhere between 4, 5, and 8.

Relatively RPotD - Winchester 1897