Saturday, Bench press

 17.08.2024

Nice day. Did not take melatonin yesterday, ended up sleeping long anyway. I gotta stop taking it when I don't really need it. It's great when you take it for the first time after not taking it for a while. However, I had a very nice sleep regardless, feeling good. Yesterday I was feeling a little anxious cause I got some stuff to deal with - bank and my salary problems, the dreaded bureaucracy. And I've been skipping out on going and requesting the documents I need, but then the fact that I decided not to go cleared up some misconceptions for me, so that's something. Ultimately, I'm not really worried about it, I'll just go to the prosecutor if I can't get my pay. Who would have expected, am I right? The mammon will not have me worried.

Anyway, today I'm starting with an instant coffee and a banana. I'm seeing some merit in skipping breakfast, provided I wasn't too hungry the day before. I got squats, relatively heavy squats planned, but also bench! I think I will be able to do both.

You know, Rick and Morty is a bit of a psyop. They put absolute garbage there. What's his fucking name, the guy who used to voice one of the characters was a pervert. And it's a show for kids and Morty is promoting incest and porn addiction. There's quite a few quotes where you can dig that up. It wouldn't be as much of a problem if it wasn't such a popular cartoon that a lot of kids watch. And I liked that show. I'm just upset that I've been consuming shit alongside some nice storytelling and humor. A hard line to walk, the line between edgy humor and tasteless propaganda. Cause joking about something might be an attempt to normalize it. No more hush hush, let's laugh out loud. Then we can bring up that topic in private and discuss how it's actually okay to do it, even though we were just laughing at this and people who do this. Hmm. Humor is too much of a defense shield. You can a lot of really nasty shit and just say 'I was joking!' Well, obviously, it doesn't work in all societies. Little rant over.

It's late. The coffee's working on me, as evident from the rant. It's working in a peculiar way.

I wanted to write something down. Things changed since March, since last year. I used to be quite a sufferer, in and out. But all that experience, it did change me. Turning into more of a blank slate. Going to default settings, in a way. Small things. Big changes. Clearing of the table.

My mind, the chaos inside it. I just felt it change. The chaos rises inside it quite frequently, but nowadays it's like... skittles. Just pick it up and eat it. And it used to be like walnuts. You have struggle to crack each one open, eat all the nasty tissue and spit it out, dig inside with effort or you'll end up with pieces of unaten walnut. It's changed. It's better, I believe. Things are better, simples, clearer. Thank God for that. Effort in return for change. And I keep having occasional desires to go back and continue doing something, hehe. But it's all much softer.

Workout

Warmup - some, mostly upper body

Bench press

20 for 10

70 for 10

100 for 10

120 for 5 nice, not too easy but confident

122,8 for 5 harder somehow, but not very much. Going for a wide grip.

125 for 5 okay, a little better than previous set

127,8 for 5 much easier, possibly because I took a long break

130 for 5 okay, hard but done. Here, curiously enough, only from this set, I started to experience unevenness

100 - 2 sets of 15 - feels good, medium-hard

That's it. Pray that I manage to succeed with my nighttimin' ressetture, please! Thinking of doing squat tomorrow. (The squat, lol)