February 5th - Poor OHP, issues

 04.02.2024

Really nice day. Slept actually well for the first time in a while. I was gonna have the "usual" five hours, but then I managed to go to sleep. Feeling smooth. When you go from being so hazy for so long to finally getting some sleep your brain feels very different. You feel different emotions, better ones, more conscious. When you don't get enough sleep you just lose a degree of control over yourself.

So, today I slept well and ate very well too. Food has been fairly mediocre in the last few days. Have I mentioned I sort of came out of depressive state> I'd like to elaborate, but it doesn't feel right at the moment. I'm confused. Just confused, not much else to add. Perpetual state of confusion. Things don't feel right, nothing feels certain. I mean, imagine if you actually had real doubt about things that you normally believe in. That sounds like mental illness. Like, you couldn't step on the ground cause you wouldn't be sure it's solid. That's not what I have; my confusion is of sublime manner.

05.02.2024

I didn't end up working out yesterday. A little weird. So much weird stuff. So hazy. Hmm. I've got a feeling that I've been deconsolidated again. It's not a big deal, it happens sometimes. It can be problematic only if you let it. It's just a feeling that a lot of people exhibit. I'm trying to understand it, understand myself as a human. I feel unwoven into strands, getting pulled apart. It's just a feeling, it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Week 7, Session 2 - 5 sets of 4 with 80%. Curious.

Workout

Warmup - some, but thorough

Overhead press

20

70 for 5 nice. Skipped 50 today and it was okay.

90 for 4

105 for 1 - I was not sure what was going on, I figured I need some more time

105 for 2 - gas ran out, more likely CNS drain. Also it's possible since I didn't work out yesterday something if additionally off.

Man, I've never had a brain haze like that. It's like continual head trauma, thankfully with less pain. Just minor headache. It was bad earlier, but now I'm smiling after playing some arpeggios. A part of me is seeing some kind of pleasant image after hearing the tunes. And there is enough food. Let's hope this haze isn't perpetual, cause if it is I really need to go to the doctor.

PRotD - added on the 7th



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