November 7th, Tuesday - Light workout, flys and pushups

 07.11.2023

Nice day. Too late to start my workout again. I was gonna do some bench. I'm realising it's one of those I'd nned to sacrifice tomorrow's performance. I need to catch up to myself. Broken inside of my head. Some stuff's coming back again. It's alright. Just don't shake it too hard.

Workout

Flys (not flies) and their variations with 2 kg dumbbells - three sets - L-flys, full range flys, bent over back and side flys. You know, now that I think about it, "flys" does sound awkward, even after all this time. Ah, no matter.

Then about the same with 6 kg dumbbells - 3 sets. Ls, fronts, bent over back and sides. Sides are super hard, especially when you try to fix the weight and stay static. Muscle all tight. Got pretty limber in the end. Have some taxing CNS work tomorrow. I ain't gonna be letting the darkest of emotions to seep through. It doesn't matter. I don't care about that shit. Just shut your mouth and keep going. Status quo. Believe me, that's what it all comes down to in the end.

Wall pushups - 2 sets, getting kinda lax.

Things aren't so bad, it's just that I'm so unstable, man, it's not going, like, in a predictable way. It's just, like, sometimes I just watch myself from inside of my head doing stuff. How does that even happen? The book, by Stanislav Lem, I read it, a long time ago. Split corpus callosum. A part of can just be a separate agent. What does this tell us about humanity and our selves? Why? Why can I not be in the driver's seat all the time?

Watching a Kitboga scambaiting video, he said that I matter in the end. That helps, no matter how random. Indians, eh? A very large country. Very mysterious.

Pushup plank - 5 sets, getting more limber. I went from just standing and feeling my wrist into doing some kind of turns and shifts and slow one-sided pushups. Feels so good. Wrist doesn't hurt, thumb muscle sort of works as padding. Elbow goes to 180 degrees.