Saturday, September 2nd - Squat, life, writing, insight into my psyche

 02.09.2023

Nice day. Did not manage to wake up earlier, only a little. Appetite very moderate, diet has gotten a little uneven, but in the end plentiful enough. Today I made porkchops and eggs but could only have one egg. I specualte it has to be the cottage cheese that I might have eaten a lot of, and it takes time for it to digest, so my body's telling me I'm not hungy.

Been writing, and I admit I've not been posting. Perhaps I shall, just to commemorate the raw unedited beauty of this barely coherent adventure book. Then again, why should I? Just for memory? Perhaps.

Editing some. It's the last part of the book before the massive genre shift. Well, not that massive. It's gotta be third or fourth time I'm rereading this... And I know for a fact every time I will want to re-edit a great lot of it. Since it's just my little blog, I'll post it the way it is now. Just for myself and the lonely inquisitive anon.

Shoulders feel a little bit fatigued since yesterday. I love that all presses were strict enough, but I actually would love to relearn to heave and break my angles at the sticking point. Be more flexing, not just press but spring the bar. It is a more complex movement. I care about my ability to do things.

Finished one coffee. Want another one. I've posted the chapters up to chapter 23, but guess what? There are currently 7 more unposted only slightly refined chapters. And together their volume is almost as big as the previous 22 chapters. A little weird, isn't it? I may want to break it up in more chapters, somehow.

Volumatic writing. "Gameplay writing". Like I'm playing The Sims, I guess. Every little moment, and of many characters too. A couple separate storyarcs. And I am actually planning to introduce a third story arc.

Marco, Henry and Zita are the first arc. The character that's going to be introduced in the Thanksgiving chapter is the second arc, intersecting with the main one. And I have written a cast of characters for the third arc, possibly even more unrelated to out main characters. A set of sitcoms, family friendly and adult ones. Multigenre. Action, slice of life, mystery, horror, x-files like stuff. X-files scared the shit out of me when I was a small boy. The tune from the show made me feel ever so uneasy every time! Then I grew up and I can be nostalgic. They made sort of a continuation around 2016, didn't they? I was in the hospital, watching it somewhat incoherently with other patients at the time.

***

Made my second coffee. Was suprise to find police downstairs in the kitchen of my family home. The old stuff, ever so predictable. My mom writing a report about on certain POS's actions. Well, she has returning Stockholm syndrome or whatever, so I reckon it might never end. That certain pos (abbreviation) has kids of his own that are missing out on him. Even if they don't hate him very much, their life will be worse for it. Kids need to have a sense of normalcy in their life. It'd be good if this pos left us in peace for real, before I'd be tempted to make it happen manually. I've mentioned this situation before, haven't I? And even worse, I cannot be a good ally to my mom in this situation, as I'd be blaming her for not dealing with this and putting us, the family, under pressure and making us suffer. I can be quiet a tiny bit supportive, holding myself back from berating my mom's lack of insight to her face. I can be fairly abrasive in person, full on criticizer. 

I love that in BG3 there are some speech options that are exactly what I would say to them, having suffered and carrying some emotional baggage in my life. For example, there's this tavern in a dark place (not really spoilers!) where you meet a person who failed to protect someone (only if you took a rather specific, although a fairly common route to this point) and you can berate him quite toxically for trying to "drown his sorrows". That is very much in character with me. But I hold back sometimes, of course, especially when I reflect on the fact that I myself am quite vulnerable to some types of criticism.

About to have the first sip of this well-made coffee.

***

Well, it's pretty late. Time to start my warmups - squats, then PPs. My mind drifts more towards PP, which is not right, because squat is the focus of today. How silly.

Week 5, Session 1 - 4 sets of 8 with 70%. I feel like I might have done this, hehe. I guess I'd like to work up to 160 for 8. 145 - 150 - 155 - 160. Very reasonable! Afterwards, 4o8 with 100 kgs in PP. Should be mostly easy as well.

Workout

Warmup - lower body moves, squat variations, calf raises. Not too long, not too thourough, I admit. But enough.

Squat - high bar, weightlifting style attg

20 - 50 - 100 - 150 for 8 - very nice, pumped, easy for legs, hard for lungs and stabilizers.

I'm wondering if it might be in my interests to cut down today's session slightly. Or, another crazy idea - move PP to tomorrow, either with or without bench. Could work? Yes.

153 for 8 nice, hard to respirate, mostly. Each movement is long.

155,5 for 8 nice, put on wraps underknee. Skewing a bit to the left, must be more careful unracking.

160,5 for 8 nice, easy for legs, hard to breathe, but I got the air back in quickly.

I guess that's it - that means I am spreading my pressing exercises.

Gardener essentials