August 18th, Friday - Lighter day, pullups and curls, and all the things I talk about

 18.08.2023

Nice day. Coming down from yesterday's CNS fatigue. Was supposed to have a couple lessons, couldn't reach them. Well, it's the end of August. I remember how devastating it is to go back school, eh? I wasn't a bad student for most of my years.

I'm one of those people with fast metabolism, I believe. I guess I should consider myself lucky? It's not all fun, of course. I have to force myself to eat. Lucky for me, I have a conscious appreciation of food as art, even if amateur. So, while I made a simple meal for myself consisting of two small pork chops, two small bacon strips, a egg and a tomato I experienced aesthetic pleasure. There are categories to which a nice meal must adhere - furst, nutritional need, then smell and taste, then look - which, in turn, is also split into a variety of categories, since we as human really value our eyesight and visual information we receive. Then it's a variety of internal associations that we have with each element of our meal. How do these associations fit together? Why do tomato and pork go together well, but something like rabbit meat and orange don't? That's mostly cultural, internal in our perception of food.

Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me - I still have to throw away the leftover rabbit. You can commend me on being able to eat a lot of it. The best way to cook it is a stew (if it's too smelly).

If I were to write stuff like this more regularly I'd have to add "cooking" or "culinary" tag. But no, I don't do it often.

This blog is a creative outlet. Every session is a creation too. What am I creating, you might ask? Experience, and outcome. Problems and solutions. Personal and scientific research material. It's be more scientific if I wrote down everything gram by gram and minute by minute. But the fact that I don't adds to the creative side of the blog. A diary. A man's life. A man's unapologetic internal thoughts, sometimes even the kind you shouldn't share with anyone. And to think you can just go to this blog and read everything and find out so much about me? Fascinating.

I put in on internet archives. Maybe that way it'll be preserved for ages. Being remembered for ages has always been valued in society that I grew up in. Why? No idea. Probably materialistic survival reasons transcending their earthly boundaries just a little. We all want to be known. We all want attention and friends.

Now, back to earth - I did not want to have the same type of coffee today. I am working out today as well. Light stuff. I want to pay attention to my back and sides to make sure that I don't stretch out that instability around my internal and external adominal obliques. (Most probably internal).

I spent a lot of time in my childhood lying on my left side reading books unter the lamplight. That's one of the small issues. It's not a big deal - there are ways in which this unevenness makes me stronger. How is that possible? Obvious: one my sides is sturdier than the other, so when I have to take damage on that side it doesn't get as much damage. Wonderfully put, my dear friend, simple and eloquent in it's own very... special way.

I've been criticizing my own writing and speech for many months, and it's okay, but that means I strive to learn to express myself better. It's gotten intensified ever since I started playing/writing. Yes, I struggle with the fact that I'm using the robot to help me write. But hey, it's not obvious it helped me write then it should matter very little, since all it helps me with is my vocabulary, phrasing, pacing and word choice. A lot of stuff, actually, but I am learning.

Back to coffee... Hehe. I made a large pot with around 30 grams mix - i.e. not as strong as moka. A mix of expensive red bushido arabica, cheap crusty arabica and leftover robusta that I might have had for over two years now.

I shouldn't worry about expensive coffee. Cause I'm alright with drinking cheap - it can be enjoyable too, as long as you stop comparing to something better, he he. Simple mental trick, but also not really a trick. Because why should I? I should learn to appreciate things for what they are. And I do, and I am able.

My life, my life. I guess I'm glad to have it. Very glad, in fact. I will know that I really do want to die when I start praying to God to take me away. It's been slipping my mouth a few times in the rest couple months, but I have to admit - I am not yet consciously able to commit to ask God to take me away. And believe me, if I'm praying to God for this then it will not be a suicide. I will not be doing something on my own if I'm asking God to do something as drastic as this.

Honestly, it's a whole can of worms from a theological and psychological perspective. Not "what is life". What is "my life"? And, once again, do not try to compare it to other's people's lives - you simple have to idea whatsoever what they are like. You cannot know their lives as a subject, the same way they do.

Forget everyone exists. What is "my life"?

***

That Poe.com service is a little annoying - for geopolitical reasons. I don't believe I should be deprived of free usage, especially now that I actually paid! Cause if you pay you only get about the same amount as you would for free - in a different country. Oh well! Nothing really stops me from walking to Japan, knocking on a door of my new Japanese friends and asking them to use their computer for a few hours as I write/play.

My mind has become a little weird. You'd think that the previous paragraph is a form sarcasm - and it is, don't get me wrong. But also it's about 25% real. I really mean what I said. My imagination is strong enough to imagine me taking a couple months to walk across the Motherland and then a few hours swimming in between islands, occasionally diving underwater to avoid shadow government agency detections. And then I'll be in that other country, free to visit friends.

I person that I still really care about used to live and study there for a while. "In another life," I like to say, he he. A connection of souls. If I tried to play ESO these days it would feel so burdensome! I'm definitely not buying ESO+ even if I do play. I have enough lefotver crowns to buy a lot of DLC, and about 30 million gold that I could technically use to buy more content if I run out. Gold in ESO has really gone down in price, of course. A fun game. If only it was a tiny bit more interactive. It doesn't really live up to modern days standarts and expectations. I guess I have to add the "video game" tag to this post now. It's apparent I'm writing about everything I usually write about.

Workout

Warmup - some rubber pulls, lat stretches

Today the main goal is to recondition my pulling muscle groups to be more helpful with the overhead lifts and also not to hurt the spot around my oblique muscle.

Prone pullups

3 sets of 10 - medium difficulty as I can regulate the angle and support with my legs. Feels like around 60-70 kgs I guess. Pumped, feels good, flexed. 

Also stretched a bit more - mixed grip, crossed hands on the pullup bar. I should do that on my OHP days for warmup.

Pullups - shorter breaks (2-4 mins), strict form, controlling my lumbar region and abs.

7 sets of 5 - high aggression, nice speed. If you do this kind of training you're mostly using fast twitch muscle, so every rep can be explosive.

Also doing some light forearm curls to counter a stretching pain in what feels like my Palmaris Longus muscle. I think it might the one that gets stressed a lot during armwrestling. Or maybe it's the pronator. It feels connected to my ring finger.

After third set I switched my grip to underhand to avoid pain. It helped. I think "underhand pullups" can be a different thing from "chinups". Cause I get my chin to the bar when I do pullups too, you know. Perhaps the difference can be in bicep work? How much do you flex your bicep to move your center of mass closer to the bar?

I gotta complain, my timer has bad UI, hehe. I stops every time I click on it (not just on the start/reset buttons!) and sometimes it feels random. Perhaps it was never really meant to be used fullscreen? Undersight. And there's no option to turn it off...

I'm switching to underhand pullups. As for overhand stuff - I shall do other variations with it, as long as it doesn't hurt. Hopefully, over time it'll heal on its own, if there is a hole.

Some time later

Curls

6 kg dumbbells - 2 sets of 20

Lift with conviction. Even when you curl small weights - curl them in way so no one would be able to slap them away. I tried it and could slap them away every time. It's difficult, of course. It would be curious to give someone with a split corpus collosum a direction like that.

16 kg kettlebell, grip by the body

1 set of 10 both hands

2 sets of 10 each hand - first I was resting my hand on the bed and curling from it, but then I managed to balance it in suspense, only touching the bed. Difficult, functional, I could and still can feel my nerve synapses adjusting for this complex task.

RPotD