Wednesday, February 1st - Deadlift, done well

 01.02.2023

Nice day. Meaningless sweet sadness. Empty. Can't see anything. Walking the foggy road.

Took a shower yesterday. Yeah, I know. I'm a slob and I don't care that I am. I'm a slob for specific reasons. They say cats hate showers cause they evolved not to drown, and cause it's too hot for them. Makes sense. Me? I don't know. Maybe I subsonsciously know what exactly showering brings.

And I tell you, I really noticed it. My muscles were stiff as a brick. When I relax - I don't. After the shower, somehow, I got so lazy and so relaxed. It made my sleep better, which is definitely a plus point. That is good. That is what I intended and what I got. I just don't like the feeling of weakness and relaxedness, I guess. It's a little weird.

My brain. My nervous system. Like a torn up rag, a sponge. Been played with too many times for too long. Used and abused. Oh well. Thank God I'm not as bitter and resentful as I could have been. In fact, I am simply not those things, except for an occasional impulsive outburst.

I don't hate or anything, believe it or not. Doesn't stop me from acting like I do, however. And my body - a strange thing - it does hate things. I don't. My body does. I know if I see something very specific it'll just boil my blood and stress me out for a week. Boo hoo. Pityful big strong man. How are you so big and strong if you're so nervous? Are you lying?

Ah. I always imagine people teasing me. *pfft* They were. Then they weren't. Then they were again. An approach. Approach to people. Curious thing. I'm a walking stereotype, doing the same things again and again. Reacting the same way I used to. Not really a rational being. And I pretty much worship rationality, which is a philosophical sin, knowing my limitations. Don't spend enough time being smart. Ah. Well, at least I'm feeling all poetical and lyrical. The music came back. Halleluja!

~~~

Gonna be giving a lesson soon. Having my first coffee right now. Good times. Wednesday is a special day for me. Has been for almost ten years by now. I work out on that day. It's been either DL or OHP. Mostly DL.

A lot more things to write about I do have. Alright. We'll be back soon. Write about FO4 and such.

~~~

Gave a lesson. Feels nice. Dopamine-d. Gonna have a second coffee. Throat strained. DLs today. Should be at least nice.

Shaved out some of my face. Back to woodsman goatee, but with a mustache.

Got new strings. Wanna open them with my little brother and teach him how to 

Enjoying coffee. Listening to music more than usual. That's great. More interest.

Gonna play something later tonight. Music, that is. I think I'll practice and simply write down what I come up with. I bought the good ol' Not Even Slinkies. AND I'm gonna tune em to D Standart. Which is gonna tight and hard. Make your strings sound like trumpets and french horns. That's right. No wobbling. Straightforward firing. Mega sustain. Hard picking not only permitted, but required.

~~~

Played FO4. Almost done with my intended first task - that is connecting all settlements into a Carvan Network. Even Red Rocket gas station. Kinda wanna try and install more settlement mods.

What do I have left? Vault 88, Murkwater, Somerville, Spectacle Island, Kingsport Lighthouse and the seaside cottage or however you call it. In my initial playthrough I really enjoyed building a wacky multi-story building warehouse/shed at Coastal Cottage. Might wanna install a mod to fix it up better at some point.

I didn't wanna use any City Plans from SS2. But I ended up using one for Sunshine Tidings Co-op. It's nice. The only bad thing is the large space has been taken up by a library and some other small building. Have to more them. I believe it's one of the most fitting places for Stodge and his friendo-s.

I've been wanting to make a Fallout 4 training module for NAI. I made one, somewhat nice one. It definitely had a lot of nonsense filler. AND it ended up being corrupted in formatting with various symbols, cause I'm a dumbass. Good for me. Well, it was messy, didn't work on it enough. I need to be more selective with this. And I will.

DL. Supposed to do 5 sets of 4 with 240. Heavy weight, when you think about it.

Workout

Warmup - diligent, intense. Then took an unnecessary break. Coffee's getting to me.

Deadlift

20 for 8

70 for 8

120 for 8

160 for 4

200 for 4

240 for 4 nice. Didn't expect to do it so easily. Easily enough. RPE 7, I'd say. Need to do 4 more sets.

240 for 4 - nice

If I'm gonna write any kind of philosophical work about human it's gonna be about approach to truth. I will postulate that humans have no control over themselves, so to reach it and the truth they need to reach genuine sincerity - a truth to oneself, truth piercing you from inside. The filthy warm round inside where you might have been coveting lies, hidden to yourself. Hmm. "Coveting". Maybe "covering"? Spur of the moment expression.

240 for 4 - nice, starting to really enjoy it and myself

240 for 4 - nice, finally filming it, did it faster than any of the previous sets

Supposed to do 247 for a "clean single", just like last week. Let's see if I manage. 5th set yet to be done, however.

240 for 4 alright

247,8 for 1 and I racked it. This time I walked backwards, which was much easier. Did not tear my calluses! And the straps might have gotten a bit more seasoned. Left a rash on my right wrist, not a big deal. But there's gotta be a smart way to prevent this. Can't think of something smart so far.

Pinch grip - quite a bit of pinching as I unracked the plates. Once you can do it, it's much easier to do it with one hand. Unless it's in the squat racks. Holding things with one arm is easier, paradoxically. I might not be quite correct, but I know there's an unexpected phenomenon there somewhere. Something about one and two hands.

Fatigued. Drowsy. But not tired. I am so glad to know that my CNS is functioning well. I am glad that my legs are indeed in an improved shape. More energy. Smooth liftoff.

When I un-privated Sparkfinger videos I got more compliments about my voice. I guess I simply must find a way to use my voice. My tembre. I do have a short tongue though. I am still capable of pronouncing things.