September 17th - Running out of energy for PP, great week overall, changing up training, finishing the guitar

 17.09.2022

Nice day. This whole week has been great. Filled with passion. How? I didn't work too hard on monday, but it was satisfying. Wednesday - pretty hard, getting back into DL shape. Thursday - light, saving energy.

Desire to go on an adventure going between 20 and 60%. Right now it's at 60. When I woke up it was low.

Meaning. Cause most of the jobs out there have very low meaning. Being a tutor is great because language is my hobby. It's stimulating. But if I am changing the world around me - the effect is small.

They diagnosed me with "neurosis" when I was in the army. That's not a real diagnosis. Just cause I was speaking slowly when my body temperature was 40º celsius. I spit on that fricking diagnosis. I'm not nervous and I never fell apart to be completely disfunctional.

Of course, when I first heard it and thought of that, my impressionable young brain took it heavily. Don't care now. I began climbing out of my hole in 2018, when I quit drinking for the second time. No recreational alcohol since then.

I wrote about it before. When I came home from the army I felt lost and useless. The world wasn't up to my expectations. There was subconscious pressure and a feeling of something wrong happening as well. I was mistreated and abused by the people I trusted. Searched for a fulfilling job. A lot of anger issues. And now just for me. Thanfully, I wasn't the one who chose to act on his subconscious impulses. I get to be righteous. I pray to God to stop me from doing wrong. I pray to God right now to aid me in my decision about my adventure. I could see myself going. Ideally, some time before my internet bill expires.
And yeah, I'm not clear about that, but you most likely (99,9%) have no idea what I mean by "my adventure" and I strongly suggest that you don't bother guessing. Just read it as it is. No, it's not it. And it's not that either. Not, I'm like these stupid guys. My Lord guides me. It's special.
One day I might be more clear about my plans. Until then - I'm thankful no one is reading this.

The first coffee turned out slightly weaker than I wanted. Gonna mke a second one. It's 3:36 now.

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When I turn my mind to God I feel like going on that particular adventure is not the right choice. I keep praying. There are other things I could do to accomplish my goals.

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Workout

Today's a one of those pretty heavy workouts. Not max, but close. Close! No minimax either. Forget that word.

Longer all-around warmup upstairs, opening up various angles, feeling the cramps in the upper body.

Overhead press

27 kg ez bar - 2 sets of 15

Push press

50

90 for 3

110 for 3

130 for 1 creaky. Failed second - no lockout.

Okay. A bit of a burnout, not really. I think I simply fulfilled my program potential with the pushpress and entered the vicious cycle of poor maxout. It happens with this program, for me anyways. Something psychological, probably.

My nutrtition has been very poor. But hey, at least a sufficient variety of nutrients. And I have been stretching my upper body for more efficient overheads. So that's something.

I had a few great sessions recently, should be quite satisfying, honestly. I have improved my all-time pushpress.

Wanted to do some more, but was struck with unexpectedly quick fatigue. Don't even wanna do BW squats.

Rubber pulls, for the upper back and rhomboid muscles - elbows raised

3 sets of 15 - light

Curls

6+6 kg dumbbells - 2 sets of 15

One hand 6+6 - 15 reps

It was strangely hard for what I expected. I need to get back onto a decent high-carb diet. I'm a big ol train, need that fuel, else I ain't gonna go anywhere. For that purpose I bought some spaghetti sauce, to make consuming carbs easier.

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I think I'm pretty much done lacquering. I ran out of the can. Further stuff would be mostly futile. After all, it has a really think coat of paint. I was supposed to use little paint and more lacquer. What do you know.

The neck looks good. Body also looks somewhat okay. I guess I just gotta cure the lacquer in a warm enough spotm, then clean it up and polish it with cloth. Not too much polishing. It can become glossy.

The satin coat on my black Epiphone SG VE is very thin. It doesn't get glossy. Oh, if only I bought a sander! He he. Then I wouldn't have such an original scarred body. Oh well. It's gonna be unique and I'm gonna make it a good thing.

Had carbs. I literally haven't had proper carbage in so long. Getting all dem random snackes we don't normally have. Well, that's this week. Next week - watch me carb up. Mark my words, I'm gonna be 114 kgs again next saturday. RN I'm around 110. Breakfasting has been decent, I just gotta learn to do other things right. Looking forward to monday.

Ultimately, wednesday is my energy pinnacle. And my wednesday sessions have been great, so Thank God for that. I had started (and done a serious portion of!) the DL program three times before I got 280. My PP has been decent, same as my OHP. Remember when I did 100 for 10? And 110 for 5? Those are noticeable moments. I wanna get at least a couple more real memorable moments and add em to my new little montage.