Saturday, May 14th - Push press

 13.05.2022

Did I tell you how not long ago I watched a cool movie - "The House That Jack Built"? Really cool movie. Very disturbing, confusing, a little disgusting, definitely not for kids, but the ending - as well as some nice details through the movie - make it worth it, give it some kind of meaning. I think I might have talked about it. Anyways, if you're a boy - I recommend watching it. For girls - only you're older. Made me interested in more movies by that Lars von Trier guy. I took him for an overrated pretentious director. Maybe he is, a little. Those epithets aren't quite condemning. But a nice movie that was, the one that I saw.

14.05.2022

Nice day. Woke up, worked some, no appetite, energy below average. Slept for quite a while. Woke up at 7PM. Energy = higher. Dreamt I was Superman and picked up a gun with cryptonite bullets, just in case there's even more cryptonians out there, ha ha.

Had 20 beans of coffee, double ground, over 180 grams of water. Feeling okay.

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8 PM. Has gotten angry. Only a little though. How do I know it's only a little? Cause I'm not feeling suicidal. When you're feeling suicidal - you're close to max anger. At max anger you either kill yourself or someone else. How did I get anrgy? Usual things. Not obvious, but obvious enough. A circuit in my brain got lit up. What circuit? The same one as usual. The one that just might open a few graves, including mine. But don't forget - I am not too angry right now. If I was angrier - I'd be even less coherent.

Made another 20 grams of coffee beans. Roughly equivalent to an old "handful". Remember the day I got really screwed up from just 80 beans? Good old days. More discipline back then. Just happier. But not luckier or more succesful, ha ha. Well, feeling good is success too, you know.

This tiny little anger of mine - it's a lot like a mouse trap with a spring. A big spring that you can keep cranking and cranking. Sometimes it snaps and the tension releases. But you can't let it snap randomly. No, you can't. That's not what men do. Can't go around kicking chairs and throwing onions at the wall. Even though impluses may want to make you do this. Release this mental and physcial CNS strain. But you have to save it. Crank the spring more. And when the silly mouse comes over to eat the cheese - catch it! Let it snap!

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9 PM. I gotta train. Today I'd like to do pushpress. What's in the program?

5 sets of 2 with 85%. That means we're gonna go roughly from 120 to 127. Sounds okay. I best not dawdle. Starting the inital warmup soon.

Funny how I can't be bothered finish watching this new Batman movie. Not really captivating. Funny.

It's important to not let bad people do bad things to you. But you know what's also very very important? Not letting good people do bad things to you. Cause that way you'll be dragging them down to hell by being their victim. Some moral philosophy for you right here. Feel free to disagree, but only if you have decent empirical arguments proving your point. People do change. It's very hard to predict how, of course. Harder that it seems, much harder. But history does give us a plenty of stereotypes to exemplify the function of human mind.

Workout

Overhead press

Some warmup

20, 40, 70

90 for 5

105 for 4 nice and strict. Feels great. A decent way to warm up shoulders for PP.

Push press

70 - 2 sets

100 for 2

120 for 2 legs feels kinda stiff, especially hip extenders

120 for 2 put on shuffle mode on my player and came across Dark Avenger. I never realised but I subconscously put the "Unavenged" in my song title. I never thought of the connection! I forget to listen to old Manowar albums, ha ha. Stayed downstairs like in the old days, listening to Manowar and Warlord (great ancient speed metal band). They always get my heart racing!

125 for 2 nice, getting better, a little less stiff.

127,8 for 2 okay. This time I had a bad grip again. But managed second per with a pressout. Held my breath in strongly. That tires my head.

I really have to do squats. No question!

Squats - high bar, full depth

A few BW squats

70 for 10

100 for 10 - I took my normal wide grip but ended up with a bar lying on just my left trap.

120 for 10 - Decided to try narrow grip, since I'm doing a high bar squat. And it felt so great! Smooth and groovy, proper acceleration and breathing, gently bouncing at the bottom. After the squat tho I got a massive cramp in my right leg 😁 Glute and adductor longus (I think) - the one that moves the thigh inside.

Spent some time warming up frozed rice with veggies, having a lovely monologue with myself. That felt great. You should try it too. Just don't be shy. People who gonna look at you all weird - they're all conformists. You don't understand how extremely liberating it is to be able to talk to yourself, no matter the language.

Yesterday I learned how to play with OpenAI jukebox. By some random chance I got an okay server and produced a few AI generated samples of my song - in other words, AI was trying to generate a song based on a few parameters and a snippet of my song, trying to continue it. It didn't turn out great cause I'm still new and used the wrong settings. But it was intriguing, considering what it can do. My songs can be pretty weird due to "cavernous" sound I happen to enjoy a lot - i.e. plenty of reverb. Well, I've been learning to cut down on it. But so far there's bits of reverb even on the bass 😁 And that's the only I can do it, cause that's the way I enjoy it. But I have to learn.

I wanted to talk about something important... Don't remember. Had to post something here.

I wanna have a really workout on monday. Not going to do much tomorrow. I will dedicate attention to the G310. I have some more paint removal to do. This time I'll be smarter, or so I hope. So hyped. I wish you could understand. I wish I was more in control of myself.