July 20th

20 july 2020

Tried to do some chinups, my my right lat is still tweaked.

It was hot and humid, raining a little bit. Felt too lazy to do anything at all, so I came up with something imaginative

Squat - singles

Basically, I did very quick singles in quadruples - 150, 160, 170 and 180

And I did four quadruples like that. First 15 singles were done in 21 minutes, as I kept unloading the plates and trying to find water. On the 15th rep I cramped my knee a bit, and on the 16th rep (180) I accidentally relaxed too much and had to drop it. Then I did 180 normally.

One advantage of such and invantive workout (besides fun) is that it makes all the weights feel easy, as long as you prepare yourself metally, if you can fix your mind on exactly what you are lifting.

In general, it was sort of a stresstul day, mostly because of bad memories and dark fantasies that keep overwhelming my mind sometimes. I call this condition "the twilight zone", for obvious reasons (twilight zone was an old macabre sci-fi tv show). I know my mind just paints obsene unrealistic scenarios, testing me. Very inspirational sometimes, as long as you can understand that you're just dreaming.

But overall, I definitely feel like I'm at least 2.5 times less stressed than a year ago, for example. How do I know such numbers? I don't, but knowing them makes me feel really easy. Funny paradox. Obvious insight into the thinking paradigm that I was raised in.

I did some pelvic bridges  - worked up to 120 for 10 reps. I did it so I can rememeber to bridge if anyone mounts me, so I can throw them off my center of mass and squiggle out. The exercise itself felt nice too. I was listening to my Sign Of The Hammer CD (by Manowar), and now the song Guyana is stuck in my head. Back in the day songs had such edgy content. Modern day metal lyrics are vastly different in a lot of way, especially in North America.

I wanted to feel extra good, so later at midnight I found some time to do 

One hand seated bicep curls - 3 sets of 12, each arm

Measured my right arm at exactly 45 cms. It's funny, now that I remember myself being 95 kgs a year ago, looking at myself in the mirror while measuring my arms and wondering how they're so small when I look so good (they were something like 43 cms). And now I just feel massive, which is, in fact, better than just looking proportionate - at least that's how it feels for my brain. I actually feel comfortable in my body at my current high bodyweight - i.e. I don't feel like a senile old man with creaky joints. Measured my BW at 108 something, but that's after dinner. I've been eyarning to "feel comfortable" in my body - i.e. functional, not like a cripple - for so long. And now my new training style changed everything so much. That's because you can't have quality training without decent quantity. It's important to not let yourself just turn into a boring stimulus addict that has no enthusiasm.

I really wanna work out in the street more, and film myself, because my garage videos have started to look extremely boring to me (unless it's actually something new, of course). Feels great to have extra enthusiasm - and I don't just have it, I cultivated it. I wanted to get where I am now, and now I'm here. Exorbitant. Now I just have to find proper balance between sort of "bodybuilding" workouts and pushing myself towards new weights. I think I can get myself some new deadlift numbers in august.