The story of kingdoms of Catabolism and Anabolism (NSFW) (jk)

A long time ago, the world was one great kingdom, where some people only had anabolism and most people had catabolism. At the dawn of the new age the world was split by a great river, and on the left side of the river people started to believe only in Anabolism, while on the right side of the river they believed only in Catabolism. They argued a lof - "Anabolism is better, we have more muscle" - "No, katabolism is better, we lift more and we eat less". People of Catabolism were very proud and started eating all anabolic people in their kingdom, and spreading their meat among everyone. People of Anabolism were depressed and fat. Then the Kingdom of Evil Vegans rose up on the right side of the river, and they said: "Time to kill all meat, and plant only vegetables instead of feeding pigs & chickens". They attacked both kigdoms, and a small kingdom of Pescetarians helped them. Kingdoms of Anabolism and Katabolism had to unite and fight off the Kingdom of Evil Vegans. Kingdom of Catabolism suffered greatly as Evil Vegans destroyed all their meat farms, but they prevailed in the end, and about that time the Anabolic Army finally crossed the river and helped them a little bit. Then the Anabolic Kingdom dropped a huge flex on the Kingdom of Pescetarians and they also were defeated. After the massive tussle the Kingdoms of Anabolism and Catabolism became frenemies, and people of Catabolism didn't eat human flesh as much anymore. They flexed on each other for a long time, until Kingdom of Catabolism suffocated and had a stroke. Kindgom of Catabolism had to end their catabolic ways and adopt some anabolic practices, while still valuing workouts over recovery.

    Now the Kingdom of Anabolism is very fat and has a lot of diabeters cases. But the doctors are too fat and don't want to move, because it's too much cardio, so people of Anabolism have to pay them dozens of tons of bacon. People of (former) Catabolism still want to eat each other, but instead they limit themselves to sucking. But at least their doctors are light and hungry. Meanwhile, all over the world the vegans rise again, claiming they are not Evil Vegans. Who knows what the future will bring?

Sorry for the provocative story, but I thought it was funny, especially if you're me.